you should really advertise this story more it is excellent.

Sivart

great job keep writing

I liked this a lot, its well written, and the story line has looks interesting. I wonder how science fiction-y it is going to get. Well, I like Sci-Fi, so that wasnt a hint to keep it more fantasy, im just curious. Please update, I'd put you on my favorite authors, but we don't want you-know-who, discovering your pename :) Please update soon!

Hey there,

I havent read much of this so far but it is shaping up to be an interesting story. I like the way the plot is developing.

Just a small point however, I've noticed some repeated statements and a few grammatical/spelling errors. I dont have time to point them out individually but might I suggest perhaps using a beta reader or proof-reading your stories carefully before posting. I often find reading them aloud helps me to decide if they flow properly.

I hope you wont take offence, I just thought I'd try to help, because it really is a good story, only there are a few things you could do to make it even better.

Keep writing!

Two words...

WRITE MORE

p.s story added to favorite!

Interesting. I'm intriged! Update soon! I like your writing.