I really like this poem. I like how you capture the beauty of Autumn.

I love autumn so i can relate & agian you write so beautifully!

This sounds a bit like one of those old last century of course, what I meant was that it 's nicely written.I especially liked the 'forgive me while I bask in thee/embracing all thy burgundy' .

Nice rhythm, nice rhyme, great piece overall. Now onto the bad stuff.

How do tears splash? This would imply that the trees are extremely sad, and you move straight on to "tickling the dying grass". Why would the grass be laughing if it is soon to perish? Ignore this paragraph if your purpose was to dichotomize the trees and the grass.

Grammer check: "knowing it's time that I HAVE eloped WITH". Otherwise, "wasted" or any word both synonomous with degenerating and tying into your piece would work in place of "eloped".

"I thank OF thee"? Either change Thank to Thank or omit the Of, otherwise, it just doesn't sound right.

Overall, I liked the visuals, though. Don't stop writing, just get someone else to read what you write before you post it so that you do not run into errors like these.

Aw, now that is a cute poem. I like it very much. Great job.

It feels like it needs another stanza... it might just be me and the whole five AM thing. I'll try to read it after I sleep and see if it makes more sense.

Oh, and I'm just really bad at making up names so I did the Pokemon thing and used colors for cities, and the name Avalon is stolen from the american version of Cardcaptors...