|Reviews for The Wizard King|
| Alteng chapter 12 . 2/26/2004
You have to love Javlin! He knows where true value lies!
The relation between Hawk and Ralock was kind of a surprise. You asked what is wrong with the story. That is part of it. Before they go running off in the sunset hand in hand, there needs to be more intereaction with them. I was getting the idea when the four heroes got split up that he was kind of interested in her, and when she wanted to do battle for him with the Assassin. The off to do battle with the Assassin was almost more of a duty bound thing for her than an act of love.
Anyway, this story was much better done than Titans, and I will get you for your grammarical boo-boos on The Lord of the Badgers.
Actually, you do a very good job for someone that I believe may not be an original english speaking person. And to relay humor across languages is often a special talent. Even British humor often does not translate well into American.
And yes, I eat cheese often! I have yet to meet a cheese I didn't like!
| Alteng chapter 11 . 2/26/2004
Actually, the capitol letters are the work of God, since you are the Creator and you Capitalize these things . . . :) Doesn't feel good to be divine!
So, the capitals are the work of the titans. The curse of the Reaper Men is an interesting one, and it is a new way to look at immortality. That is a lot of the trouble in vampire stories. Vampires live so long that the mortals that they do grow attached to soon die. Therefore they get tired of the pain.
The Reaper Men are mortals that helped the Dark Knights Titans? My brain is dead, and I think I might have missed that.
Nice cliff hanger at the end.
| Alteng chapter 10 . 2/26/2004
You did a nice description with the Assassin's true features. I was told once that there is nothing more vivid than leaving things to the imagination. What is in my mind's eye could never live up to what you could put in print. Now, only I could learn to do that more often.
| Alteng chapter 9 . 2/26/2004
The Assassin's words at the end make you think!
Yeas, we all need the uninteresting prophcies from the Book of Cheese. Poor Seara, she's so lost, and no one wants to enlighten her.
| Alteng chapter 8 . 2/26/2004
You are a better comedy writer. Stories are always a lot more fun when you can put a lot of humor in them. Do I smell some jealousy coming from Emily about a certain dark elf?
Oh by the way, is the Book of Cheese rather cheesy? I couldn't resist!
| Alteng chapter 7 . 2/26/2004
Second song title! I like the beginning of this chapter. I can envision this. And I have characters, who would agree with Death on the bit about the "neurons and suchlike". Don't ask!
I like your door guards. They are cute with their personalities. you don't really expect that out ancient things. The first critter, I kind of envisioned looked more like a praying mantis type head instead of a cat, but it did have a catty attitude. Cats are the best, you know!
That's all the far I have read today! Unitl later.
| Alteng chapter 6 . 2/26/2004
I like you explanation of the mists. You did a lot more descriptiveness (if such a word exists) in this chapter. It is appreciated. You have either watched a lot of Monty Python or you are a fan of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Your humor is picking that up. I'm guilty, too.
| Alteng chapter 5 . 2/26/2004
This is the chapter where you introduce you dark elf. I smile brightly. I came up with a simlar idea for goblins in my "Fall of Sagamore" story. There is a comment that a goblin is not considered an adult until he kills someone. Geez, some of those fellows will never grow up! :) By the way, some cultures do not particularly frown upon patrticide.
| Alteng chapter 4 . 2/26/2004
Oh, and this is a long time after your return from Iceland, but your mailbox will be stuffed with reviews! Be happy!
I love your opening paragraph on this chapter. It sounds like something I would write! You know those elves can be awfully rich food, but hobbits are mighty tasty if cooked right. Just ask Talon from my story "Fall of Sagamore"!
You have a great smart alec humor, and I love it. I am glad that I am reading your stuff!
| Alteng chapter 3 . 2/26/2004
This is a nice little chapter. I have a character, who ran into a simliar problem that Ralock runs into. Galen is 5 when his folks find out that he is endowed with magic. The people of his home reacted a very similar way. Aren't humans a wonderful race to belong to! If one is different, he is to be cast out or destroyed!
Anyway, on the lighter note, the line:
Soon the rumours flew, rumours of demons and sacrifice and things I don’t even want to mention (Involving mice),
Don't you mean gerbils? I know, I'm bad!
| Alteng chapter 2 . 2/26/2004
Yes, you're humor is really twisted. That is why all of us reading "The Lord of the Badgers" love you so!
A little thought for you, in the book "Grunts" by Mary Gentle, she has a line to the effect of "Death is just a learning experience for a necromancer". Well, the Dark Knights seem to know a lot about death magic, now don't they!
| Alteng chapter 1 . 2/26/2004
Not much i can say about the prologue. The capitals I take to mean that every group in this story has the feeling of self importance. Hey, I'm being nice. And deep explanation, well, the people of this world are simple folk. Why get all fancy with those names!
| Jerrac chapter 12 . 12/27/2003
*laughing* I think it was a rather appropriate ending. Quite funny.
| Cyan Fields chapter 1 . 8/20/2003
Not bad - not bad at all. I like the ideas you have here and I'm interested in reading more.
Couple of things though.
Watch you grammar, you've mixed up your tenses a little - you start with told and go on to tell. Try and get a little more colour into your narrative too. Something like this:
'Having consulted a dragon and an organisation known as the Reaper Men, beings who made cold fish seem full of life, the Warriors found the last Dark Knight, the Assassin. He had summoned something so terrible that the historians could find no name or description of the creature; it was recorded simply as The Thing, not very original perhaps but terror does not often lead to creativity.'
I hope you don't mind me tampering with your work like this. I'll understand perfectly if you blast me from a great height - but I do like your ideas here and I'd like to read more.
Keep on writing.