fast, tense and action packed. i really liked this chapter, and Heilor. he's nasty and doens't suffer fools.

time for chara development.

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i don't know why you are all worried about character opinions or whatever. there was nothing even vaguely offensive - disappointing in a way ;)

i'm not really into vampires et al so i'll ignore all that an concentrate on the story: which if fairly interesting. i haven't read a lot of 1st person stuff so all leon's narrative during the fight near the end made it feel after the fact. its a fight, and a fast one, no time for thinking. that's just me or my lack of experience in 1st person.

the chapter sets up 3 main actors and the likely protatonist so it has its hook on that point. kath's character stands out, she has personality/issues and it would be interesting to know how she and leon joined up.

... not a lot else to say... is only chapter 1 so theres probably a lot more coming.

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