|Reviews for Last Breath|
| Dirty Wallpaper chapter 1 . 2/25/2004
lol! you wrote *this* while DRUNK? again, this was really good. the word 'whisper' in teh first line was especially effectivge for setting teh tone of the rest of the poem.
"The one who can only remember,
The memories that pain renders,"
i dont normally do this, because im really not one of those constructive critism chics...but the last line, there is a small typo which kind of hinders the impact the line should bring. youve put "breath my last breath" instead of "breathe my last breath" - just lil.
anyways, again, good work. kudos!
| water sprite chapter 1 . 2/2/2004
It's actually not that bad! :) I've never actually written a poem while drunk, maybe I'll try it..hehe. But, no I really like this, and its so true too, great work :)
| Lilliana chapter 1 . 11/1/2003
I'll kick her a$$ for doing this to you...LET ME AT HER! LOL. Loves, Lindsay
| Frodo chapter 1 . 10/14/2003
First off, dude, you can write better stuff while your drunk than what I write the vast majority of the time. Sounds heartfelt. Nicely written. Good work.
| Tanika chapter 1 . 9/16/2003
wow... is not bad... just terribly terribly deep. i dont know what to even say about it other than it is so deep... and so good.. i think... if i am translating it right
| acccountkiller chapter 1 . 9/13/2003
very very good, birlliant actually, and then if u consider the fact you were drunk, i doubt i would've managed to write something even close to this, i doubt i could even write. loved it.
Queen of... nah, just Twilight (no queen)
PS: do NOT think i am saying that cos you said u liked my poem, i am being very honest.
| Bleedingtree chapter 1 . 9/8/2003
Pretty dang good for writting when you were drunk... wow... but yeah, I'm only fifteen and a sophmore in high school out in good ol' minnesota! oh! I play the flute in marching band... well I have to go and call my friend andy and ask him about making fliers for his band's next performance.
Really did like this one.
| Incubabe chapter 1 . 9/8/2003
Firstly; 8 pints in 40 mins is highly impressive! Hehe!
Secondly, if I could write like this when I was drunk... Man!
It's a fantastic piece of work. The rhyme does let it down in some places but otherwise; great stuff!