|Reviews for Still|
| Noix d'Acajou chapter 1 . 3/8/2006
wow. i love your wordings. beautiful and not over the top. sure, it's not the BEST thing in the world, but it's pretty dang good! (and a whole lot better than what i'm able to come up with) keep up the good work. )
| hurtmushroom chapter 1 . 8/1/2004
well, you know, i like poems that don't rhyme :) (maybe coz otherwise I'd never have written any of my own? *g*) anywazy, this one is great (you must be hearing that way too often, right?). Loved the topic, though sad, esp. "Im still yearning a loving touch,/The taint of spring on winter", great wording! as well as the first four lines. so, cool one again! :D
(I know, my revies don't make any sense...*g*)
| fluffy gizmo chapter 1 . 1/24/2004
this is really cool, it would work really really well as a song instead of a poem. but i still likee!
| acccountkiller chapter 1 . 12/25/2003
Oh my god...this is so beautiful...such gorgeous imagery..just..you know Belle, I think I'm gonna give up on reviewing..perfection cannot be reviewed, I don't want to sound like a liar..but it is true..I lvoe this so much! Its magnificent..stunning!Love,Mia
| Celestial Sailor chapter 1 . 12/7/2003
Air does not have to be generic, it could be the air of breath, air of anger, sorrow, pain, despair.. or an air of joy, enlightenment, love, passion. If all you feel is air, then you feel everything. Are you not alive and breathing air?
A yearn for a loving touch is a noble pursuit, I wish you well in.. the beautiful word choice in this poem tells a tale of longing for a delicate lover's embrace and makes frequent references to environmental influences. Better than the mountains, and greater than the rivers and leaves...
| Renae Maia chapter 1 . 10/26/2003
I LOVE THIS POEM! How can you say it isn't good...I love it, I don't know why...I love everything about it...I can't find my fave lines, they are all great..."I'm still breathing your skins entrancing lure" You created this beautiful aura and this beauty in sorrow feeling that transcends the words that are plainly on the screen. Beautiful work...ahh! :)
| wordpainter241 chapter 1 . 9/29/2003
Try and write a second stanza like the first one, if you're inspired write a third.
Cut the last stanza, try at work that into the above two stanzas.
Make the current second stanza a chorus. Give the lyrics to me. I'll write you a kick ass melody, and arrange the perfect instrumentation. We'll give it to a kick ass band, and you'll have written a kick ass song.
(That is of course if you don't wanna write the music)...
Sorry, just a thought. My constructive criticism.
I loved the second stanza, it reminded me of me so much... you have that ability, to remind me of myself all the time. Not that you need to be told, and you probably don't care what I think, but I believe you're very talented. If there were more people like you in the world it would be the most beautiful place in the universe.
Maybe that's what heaven's like...
| not sure yet chapter 1 . 9/11/2003
wow, what are you talking about, this is freaking awesome, i love the whole feel of it, very whimsical and longing, full of desire for something thats not there, know the feeling, very beautifully painful...in a long sort of way, if that makes any sense, but either way, love the words used, esp that last line, its like wanting to walk through the walls and fall into something thats not there, anywayz, incredilbe poem, love it, and of course it has rhythm, very good one too
| Crucified Sanctity chapter 1 . 9/10/2003
You had a lot of good lines in there, a lot. But none of them had the usual BAM! I'm used to in your poetry usually... Still good though...
- Crucified Sanctity -
| Artemis Astralstar chapter 1 . 9/9/2003
your poem isn't crap at all, i like it.. a bit morbid, and slightly helpless sounding, but well expressed.
i love the line : "missing heartbeat" it is such a great way of describing someone like that so poetically.
well done, keep it up.
| glitterjewele chapter 1 . 9/8/2003
*is utterly entranced*
god that was amazing. (hehe you know i just *had* to be the first to review this . . . :P). allow me to say that it is an *honor* to have something like this dedicated to me, i'm sure i'm not worthy of a single line of it. but i must say . . . it's completely uncanny how *this* specific piece of all pieces seems to relate so perfectly to my life o_O. lol at any rate, about your self-beratements . . . HOW CAN YOU SAY THIS HAS NO RHYTHM? i could *sing* it if i wanted to! it's amazing! it's gorgeous! i mean it's *so* tragically beautiful, there aren't even words for how much i love it. haha you want constructive criticism? after scouring the entire piece a full four times, do you know what i came up with in that department? the apostrophe's didn't show up! that's it! *pauses for a deep, calming breath* so, guess how many times i had to narrow down my favorite lines for this one. not once, not twice, but a full three times (and even now i think i may have to many). at any rate, behold the fruit of my labors: "from that yesterday you never came" (that line *really* hit home in the department of personal connections to this piece), "the one God mourns he never made," "you'll close my eyes and kiss me softly," "the taint of spring on winter" (*sigh* oh the painfully gorgeous imagery . . .), and "all i fear is air." i kinda feel like someone's taken a wooden spoon and stirred up all the emotions in my heart that were *just* beginning to settle. this is phenomenal beyond words, without a doubt one of my favorites, *infinite* kudos to you chica! ! !
p.s.-and best of luck on the evil math exam! :)