|Reviews for Rainbow|
| Kucing chapter 1 . 2/25/2013
| liquid-dreams-139 chapter 1 . 4/1/2006
wow i never looked at rainbows this way... lol creative and simple... nice work!
| Benjamin - To Be Deleted chapter 1 . 3/3/2006
Jesus, this is amazing. "my mute cacophony"? Amazing line. I Stand in awe. You turned the image of a rainbow into something that will haunt me every time I see one.
One thing: *last stanza, 3rd line*'smouldering' should be spelled 'smoldering'.
| Faded to Fit chapter 1 . 10/21/2005
this is so tragic and so beautiful, it touches my heart
| Krikoris chapter 1 . 8/31/2005
I love when people turn such a positive thing into images that could haunt me for days. Great job!
| Cloud Burst chapter 1 . 6/10/2005
very vivid imagery and awesome work!
| M.T. Stockton chapter 1 . 4/21/2004
Wow. I really enjoyed this, there's some beautiful imagery here. Very evocative of a sort of desperate futility, at least for me - especially, for some reason, the part about subways and streetcars. Not many people pull that out of me, so for that you're right up there with Bret Easton Ellis. I have one little nitpicky thing to say, though. The rhythm seemed a little off in some places. Hell, maybe that's what you were going for, and if so disregard this comment. However, it seemed consistent through most of the poem, and just interrupted in a few places. It certainly takes nothing away from a first reading of the poem, but when I read it again and was able to look deeper than the amazing images, the slightly off-kilter rhythm jumped out at me more. Once again, if that's what you were going for, ignore this. All in all, great job, and keep writing.
| Tatsu-Dreamer chapter 1 . 2/23/2004
Are you mad at somebody? This poem is full of anger and hate. Very strong.
| Werewolf Nighteyes chapter 1 . 2/20/2004
Hrm...never looked at those colors that way b4, but still, creative. Well keep on writing!
| The L1zard Queen chapter 1 . 2/5/2004
Pretty good n_n
| fontanellemonster chapter 1 . 12/7/2003
Hey, that was really cool...yeah...draco and vampires. oh yeah. uh, about the poem...it was really cool, a rad way of thinking about rainbows and um...the last line i liked (fuck what the i am on?).
| Katterree Fengari chapter 1 . 11/27/2003
O, that's lovely... Nice how you seperated all the colors out, I was thinking that you would talk about the rainbow as a whole...
I like the lines- "The blood within an ice-cold heart,/Simply going through the motions."
The rhythm does not seem the same through-out. Also, on the second stanza, last line, you have "Alone and tried on mountain tops." did you mean "tried" or maybe 'tired'?
| IHJ chapter 1 . 11/5/2003
Unique take on the colors of rainbows. Definitely dark, a bit on the morbid side.
Nice flow and rhyming overall except for the fourth stanza, with its noticeably shorter lines and repetition of the word "damage". It loses the rhythm there.
Wondering last stanza, wraps it up fantastically. *clapping* Bravo!
| Prophecy Puppet chapter 1 . 11/1/2003
Another great poem :) I am very jealous! ...I can't help noticing that you like the word 'forgotten' for you use it a lot, heh. It's a good word
| Shade2 chapter 1 . 10/20/2003
Oh . . . This was amazing. I like the last stanza w/the mute cacophony. Heh heh heh. One suggestion though (I'm picky) you repeat the word damage twice in one stanza. Maybe saying "And pointless destruction"? Just ignore me, I'm an idiot about things like that. Wonderful job.