Reviews for Freeze in Ice
Anna Christie chapter 1 . 2/19/2009
Wow, this is amazing! It's like it just takes off and doesn't stop till the last line. And throughout the whole thing it's got your attention held tightly and it makes no sense and yet perfect sense. And this review probably doesn't either, haha, but maybe it will cause the poem's incredible and I think I'm going to favorite it. Awesome piece. Captivating, if I may use that word here. :D
drippingdreams chapter 1 . 5/14/2006
I like how much this confuses me. At first it reminds me of playing spin-the-bottle in the summertime when there's fireworks (like Fourth of July in the USA), but then it seems to be about childhood versus being older.

Favourite lines: "just to become a pair of boots/ splashed with mud and crayon juice," and "but fireworks never apologize."

Teeny crit: "when your gone" should be you're, with the apostrophe and E. Also, and this is more a stylistic thing, but I think "gumbled" would be better "jumbled," since as far as I know the former is not a real word and the latter is. The made-up word would work there only if you had other made up words, but all the other ones are actual English so it's really out of place. :) Of course, I might be totally wrong and maybe it's a word in England that the US (where I'm from) has yet to hear about.
KittenX chapter 1 . 9/22/2004
Yikes! Took me for a ride :)
I liked the speed of this and there are so many delicious bits and pieces.
Intro is fantastic! Sets up the pace right away. Snap, short, crisp lines. Excellent imagery. I likey )
Arreis Kurai chapter 1 . 4/26/2004
freeze in ice...a phrase makes a lot of sense as in ice does freeze...so its not like it's too hard to think up, but it has a great catch to it...it clings at a person...and the righty tighty lefty loosie, i love that! cause i use that!it's awesome!
*Arreis Kurai*
Casey Lone chapter 1 . 3/5/2004
Not to be the black sheep...
It’s all topsy turvy
Lefty tighty
((I'd be better if it was Lefty Loosy)
Righty loosy.
(I'd be better if it was Righty Tighty)
It’s all mumbled gumbeled tumbled
You should say: It's all mumbled, jumpled and freezing everything in it's way.)
It’s all red
It’s all white
But fireworks never apoligize
(Put do after never)
And neither do I, I just spin in spin.
(Instead of in, put and.)
Behind those eyelids and old soda bottles
(You should put behild those eyelids I see the inside of your heart,
it's cold circulating through the veins and all your parts)
I can see your grin
And I will listen I will listen
To the thumpety thump of the
(You should put an extra thump)
Confused piano’s keys
As you beat it like a drum
And it thinks quietly one your gone about a flute
(Instead of one, put when.)
Who never gets such a hard beating for
Music’s sake, or no man’s snake
Or will live a short life
(You should put it's all short-lived...)
Just to become a pair of boots,
Splashed with mud and crayon juice
Will never taste the same as when I was five.
Bark will still be soft and
Water will be sweet
(Put still between will and be)
And grass won’t more sting you, just
(You don't need more)
{I edited this sentence below)
stop and listen, and i'll show you want I speak.
But you will listen to my words,
(Put will you instead of you will)
You won’t listen to my words
Until they freeze in ice
(Put just like your heart.)
THIS IS OPTIONAL. THIS IS JUST WHAT I THOUGHT.
Sun Chime chapter 1 . 12/26/2003
Wow! I liked it. You're our next Ogden Nash (YAY!) He's an excellent poet, and to think you're as good. WOW! I loved the last two lines, they're, well, beautiful and sort of "freeze" in your head. Nice! I like the pictures it creates in the head. Good work.
Btw: Are you Indian, your name sounds it, "Chandra"! Nice name you have!
not sure yet chapter 1 . 12/19/2003
o, i LOVE this one, fascinating and full of word play that goes round and messy and fun, muchly love that, very well written and different, awesome job
v33 chapter 1 . 10/2/2003
Very nice! Luv your writing skills...oh and thanx for your review on mine! Keep writing! You can only get better with time!
mapofyourhead chapter 1 . 10/2/2003
A bit odd, but it's got a nice flow to it. Good job!

Tigress Moon
Trinity Joselyn Carter chapter 1 . 10/1/2003
that was weird and interesting. the concepts were seperated in some lines and took some thinking to get them to make sense. that was really great. keep writing!
pippin tomson chapter 1 . 10/1/2003
I really like this peom,

the begining of it was really well written