|Reviews for Rough Draft|
| Evelyn chapter 25 . 4/9/2010
I'm a sucker for romance stories... just wanted to say that this story was so sweet.. despite the kidnapping. eve and matt have the love that some of us can only dream about. loved the story, you are an awesome writer.
thank you for writing such an adorable story :)
| CynicalRomantic09 chapter 7 . 4/9/2010
Okay, so the idea behind this is good and it's pretty entertaining for the most part.
But I feel like everything happened far too quickly in the beginning. There was almost no build-up and it was like Matt just decided that he was going to spill the truth to her out of the blue. The only hint we had that something was up was his obvious distaste for creeper Nate. I mean I'm guessing the glass that Nathan handed to Eve had some sort of drug or poison in it, thus the fire lit under Matt's butt. It still just kind of felt like, "whoa, what?"
And another thing that kind of bothered me a little was that her reaction didn't seem to fit the character that you set out... not entirely, anyway. She said herself that when she's faced with a problem, she doesn't confront it-she runs. I'd tack this up as a HUGE problem. She just found out that her entire life's basically been a lie. They dumped everything on her all at once and that's the kind of information that can make a person feel like the walls or closing in.
I just kind of feel like she accepted this way too easily, especially for someone with such a cynical outlook on life to begin with. The thing that saved you, though, from having her reaction not make any sense at all was that she's been established as a person who can't say no. I think that was your wild card, there.
Maybe if there was a little less dialogue going on to describe the characters' thoughts it would give a little more insight. There are few bits here and there that kind of dig into Eve's head, but it's mostly just conversation and that can detract from a story, especially when you have a plot as complex as this one.
I'm sorry this review is just one ball of constructive criticism, but I LOVE the idea behind this. I really do and I think there's such a boatload of potential in it. I'm just gonna keep reading and see what you have in store :D
| calasin chapter 25 . 2/27/2010
ah...i love a happy ending.
this was so incredible, that i actually cried a little through some of it... DD
matt and eve are so good together, the chemistry they have is just amazing! i loved the plot, it was fantastic and the way you write is too! ) completely loved it!
| Floppy125 chapter 25 . 2/25/2010
AW! IT WAS SUCH A GOOD STORY!
AND LOVED MATT
| psycho angel chapter 25 . 1/9/2010
God, this was amazing!
I bursting right now trying to contain my happy squeal, coz if i don't then my parents will think that i have gone psycho
This was truly awesome!
| AndItMovesUsAll chapter 25 . 12/16/2009
Aww that was a sweet ending! I got really into this one and thought the first half of the story especially was great because the mystery gets you hooked. I thik that Matt and Eve had such a beautiful relationship, you really wrote it well. However i think that Eve should have been more shocked and upset when she found out initially about her brothers and matts mafia bussiness, as well as when her dad came back, as it didnt seem like there was much of a reaction, and i know that they were doing it for her sake, but being lied to your whole life would make you hurt. Also, when she found out that she could have married anyone, the focus of her anger was at Matt and Ricky for only doing it for money and honour, and rightly so but i would have thought she would also be angry at them, epecially ricky, for taking away her right to marry someone she loves and be happy, because they didnt know for sure that she would be with him.
Also, though i loved the plot at the end, i think what happend with Nathan didnt make sense because he was just as horrible as the rest of them and then he suddenly acted like he would do anything for her and then killed himself for killing his sister, so that he wouldnt have to go to jail, but surely in his line of businness hes killed before? I mean, it works if his character is meant to be quite unstable, but i dont think it came across that well, it wasnt quite built up properly and his motives werent clear.
Well that sounds like a lot of critism but i really enjoyed this, and cant wait to read more of yours!
| QuickSilverSand chapter 2 . 12/5/2009
i like jaye a lot!
| dwpea chapter 26 . 11/27/2009
wonderful wonderful awesome awesome story ever written! totally made my day D
| Your Execution chapter 25 . 11/14/2009
:D Aw i love this story so much
| claireponcherrii chapter 6 . 10/17/2009
| LavenderWolf chapter 25 . 9/17/2009
This was really great and very well written. I think I would have reacted much the same as Eve. I luv Matt and Toby, so cute. :-)
| leng chapter 25 . 9/8/2009
I just finished the story and I LOVE it. You should make a sequel to the story. Pure awesome. I look forward to reading your future stories and now I just started reading "A Summer Solstice"
| Peace is free chapter 7 . 8/28/2009
This story is awesome so far, I can't wait to read the rest.
| 3DarkGoddess3 chapter 27 . 8/20/2009
So far all of your stories that i've read I really liked so it was no surprise that I liked this one too. I loved Matt he is so sweet. I kinda felt bad for Nate in the end. Took Ricky and Allison long enough.
| WindLessNiteZ chapter 1 . 7/18/2009
hey i had read your story at 2009 so i am not sure you would read my review or not ,but still i want to say that you are a amazing writer i had actually read a few of your story. i like how the way you twist your story . you are one of the best writer in this site and a good writer plus a good story deserve a review
-best wish from me