Reviews for Yume
TexZep256 chapter 1 . 2/27/2006
I love it... if there's one thing that I'll remember about this poem more than anything else, it’s the image of crimson lips, kissing, nibbling, biting, but never really meeting.

I actually had a dream like this recently, and you manage to put the feelings from that into poignant words... bravo. (And yes, waking up all alone in a big empty bed really does suck.)

*Dons Editor Hat* I love the poem's feel, but a run through the spell-checker could do a world of good; "As I LOK out the window", "As I bite YOU lip". Also, the word "As" is used a bit too often: Using it judiciously adds a sense of urgency to whatever it is you're writing, but use it too much or too often and it becomes stale quickly and loses the effect.

Other than that though, beautiful.

Thanks for sharing!

-Love, R/M
Kailna chapter 1 . 7/4/2004
This is realy good too. I like the twisty ending.