|Reviews for Bitter|
| EvilFireWitch chapter 1 . 3/21/2006
I love the beginning. Love it.
"But I was a ... an idiot." That small bit simply doesn't fit the style of the rest of the poem, to my mind. The two lines standing alone is all right-it's just that each line is one complete sentence. I feel like you are injecting commentary into this wonderful work of art-commentary that is not poetry. I realize they are short sentences, but is there anything you can do to fix it? Make it still poetry?
Free form style is so much fun, and often seems too easy to be true. You're doing great with it, though. You've taken it and truly made it poetry, artwork, really. Quite impressive.
I love the bit here: "Virtue is harder ... fist and fingertip." So wonderful. I've never seen anything like it!
Here again, with "The chill has ... will scar me." Such wonderful word choice, but the structure of those two lines... Just because they are comparable to the last couplet doesn't mean that it's the best it could be.
I followed your poem until: "as even immortals ... die." I'm not sure if that's a metaphor or if you're speaking as though it's a truth. Can you convey your message more clearly?
Your description and personification of Wrath is fantastic. Again, I have never seen anything like it.
When you're recovering, burning and tearing, etc., the imagery and word choice really grab my attention. It's so graphic and yet so sad and true. Wonderful.
"Tragedy is ... spite-" Great. Simply great. And I love how this stanza somehow accidentally rhymes in a wonderful way.
Overall, spectacular. Aside from the couplets that are almost prose, I'd say this is one of the best poems I have ever had the pleasure to read. I'm glad I decided to actually read someone else's work, for once! Most enjoyable. I hope that you never stop writing, and continue to grow-and that I've been helpful!
| Dying Without Gackt chapter 1 . 1/6/2005
That was good to - I have no idea what to say. All your words put at all the right places. Do you listen to rap? Sometimes in your poems its sounds like you - just the way your words are put.
| C. Hoogkamer chapter 1 . 12/10/2004
It's strong and very good. I love the fact that your poems aren't just a couple of stanzas. Most people can't do long poems, but this- along with all of your others- is amazing.
I didn't think that the first stanza was cliche
| allyboo chapter 1 . 10/25/2003
I like it very well written
| AutumnRhapsody chapter 1 . 10/9/2003
I liked it. The first stanza was a bit cliched, but the rest isn't, it's very original. You have great metaphors or similes, and words, and I really like the part about the angels and the empires. The last stanza is really cool, and it ends it really well.
Wow, I use the word 'really' a lot...sorry about that.