You know like wowwowwowwowwowwowwow..
I have no words for this.. Its powerful, dark depressing and everythin all at once..
::speechless::
I am wonderin why I havent added you to my favs list yet.. *clicks* If this is what you write when you're having writer's block, your full potential must be just awesome..
I keep digressing.. Anyway, the poem is tragically beautiful.. The images so provoking, the words so painfully expressed.. I mean, even though its supposed to be a 'painless' way to end the person's life, you make it sound completely opposite..
Love the lines :
"Stakes in my arteries;/pumping me. sweeping"
"my sandcastle limbs"
"Stealing the heartbeat out of my shoes"
"Synthetic air smelt good"
I can't describe it, but the piece draws this emotion in me that is unexplainable..
All three stanzas have impactful ending.. Ah, especially the ending, so pretty, so sad..
Loved it to bits.. I don't know what made you put me on your fav list when you're just so amazing amazing amazing..
~Shadafakup

I just realized I spelt pavements wrong. Gah! Typos. Thanks for all the reviews!

Sugar on the Asphalt: You're amazing. Seriously.

Holy shit. You're brilliant.

...how dare you grace my half-assed, regurgitated crap with your sugar-laden words? Damn you.

There is not a line in here that isn't perfect.

*sigh* That was pretty depressing...powerful poem. The words, the images -really impacted this piece.

"Synthetic air smelt good."

I liked that line. Well, glad that your writer's block is melting away. Keep up the writing!

Jess 0:o)

Great poem! Good job.