|Reviews for Imagine|
| Solid Gold Buddhist Raccoon chapter 1 . 3/2/2005
Hey, I agree that it seems a bit unfinished. I have a few ideas... I think. Maybe, you could add a caesura somewhere before the end, so that the ending doesn't happen suddenly (like driving a jeep off the Grand Canyon). I don't think you should necessarily make the poem longer (I think that poems should use words effectively, and don't need to get a single point across in 7 zillion lines [b/c then the wording would be as affective as the shorter... did that make ANY sense?])
Hm. Oh, one small criticism. PERSONALLY, I would delete the line about the chainsaw and the tree. It seems jarring after you've read everything else. All your examples in previous lines have something to do with nature-shadows, moonlight, fire, (atlas? hm), hunters, etc. The chainsaw just seemed a bit... lifeless to me. I don't know. Sorry, if my tiny criticisms are annoying, but I offer advice to pieces and authors I like, so really, it's a compliment _.
um hm. Anything else... er. *scratches head* I guess the rest is up to you, you're the artist, after all :-)
the Solid Gold Buddhist Raccoon
| Mourning Fox chapter 1 . 7/30/2004
Oh wow... You really got me on this one. I feel the angst rising already! Well written and well crafted, great.
| CielNombreUnDeesse chapter 1 . 6/22/2004
this was wonderful
all some people can do is imagine so imagine if life wasn't all love and dreams.
| Clarkie chapter 1 . 12/18/2003
The structuring of this is great! I really like this one.
| kawaiigirl24 chapter 1 . 10/30/2003
Imagine if boys never existed!
(from not erin ) )
| CancerianQueen chapter 1 . 10/17/2003
Well, if all this happened, it would be pretty funny, right? Oh... your heart has a key? For what? Can't be love.