Reviews for The Sea
Infinite Smiles chapter 1 . 11/22/2003
I love the sea. I love your descriptions of it. Very beautiful wording.
Krikoris chapter 1 . 10/26/2003
Sounds like the ocean to me. I yearn to see it right now, too bad I am at least 200 miles away from it.

Reading this made me want to see it, which means its good. But you dont need me to tell you that . .. . . .

Krikoris
suckerplucker chapter 1 . 10/26/2003
just to finish my review of your other poem: it was just kind of confused and confusing, and there was to real organization...

but for this one...

why are you talking about the rapturous sunset when you're describing the sea?

where does "jewel-bright mirror" come from-ive heard it before and i know its not yours.

the whole "a sapphire..." line just confuses me, i know what a sapphire is and how it could (however tritely) describe the sea, but whats the rest about?

your reference of "cerulean" is unnecesary, it comes off as you trying to flout a vocabulary word- it is unnecesary

i love the "siter to.." line

your last 2 lines are just superfluous, they dont interest me at all, and cap off a poem that has none of yourself in it. It is an impersonal description and would be greatly improved if you were to speak more to how the sea changes and affects you, instead of just listing mostly trite descriptions of the sea- a topic on which there is already too much trite poetry.

keep on trying, some of your lines show great potential

zac
VoicesOfViolence chapter 1 . 10/26/2003
That was beautiful. It shows the power and fierceness of the sea.

I espicially love the line "A jewel-bright mirror veiled by white lace,"

Such gorgeous description.
Moulin Rouge21 chapter 1 . 10/26/2003
great descriptions! well done