Reviews for Smile
negligible fictional force chapter 1 . 8/31/2004
ow.
this is freaky
and it haunts the reader.
the tone is longing
and well brought out.
seriously disturbing.
-kismet.
bloodyvelvetstrings chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
This one actually made me cry... I loved it.
Sammy- B chapter 1 . 3/17/2004
spooky- is this about an obsession? If not- well, I'm really tired so you'll have to excuse my stupidness. You use a wide range of vocabulary, does that make any sense?
B. Styles chapter 1 . 12/22/2003
I usually like to look at the work of folks that have reviewed the same stuff as me...unfortunately I'm not much of a poet, so sorry if I don't quite understand the imagery here : /. This one is very...intense to say the least, it kind of seems like a kind of obsessive love, what with the narrator "offering their heart up on a platter." Whew...heavy stuff
JjournalitK chapter 1 . 11/22/2003
whoa. that was one of the darkest poems i've read. the imagery is frightening...

-kim
desolus chapter 1 . 11/7/2003
The desperation is lovely in its vaguely written form, though not said, but it created a very vivid in my mind of the willingness of a woman who would go at such lengths for the attentions of a rather unloving man. It reminds me of old friends of such nature.

Your imagery is delightful.

'And I will cut my heart from my chest with a knife of ice,

And offer it up to you on a golden plate,'

- I can't imagine who would willingly do this, but it struck me in ways only inexperience can.

'black prince on your throne'-I pictured an older man, a few years my senior. It just spoke of _power_. *shivers*

'Making your decrees / For all but me.' - Damn.

You display great potential. You'll make a great poet. I can see it.
harry k stammer chapter 1 . 11/2/2003
hi, while i don't particularly care for the content you can write. This one would make great lyrics to a song - along the lines of A Perfect Circle. Maynard is the man. hks
Jimmy Jazz chapter 1 . 11/2/2003
Ah! Excellence reigns supreme here! Brilliant job!
marijke chapter 1 . 10/29/2003
Oy vey. :: dies :: Excellent poem. It was so true and so-yay. But in a dark way. (dark yayness? Lets not try to understand that one :P)

Anyway, especially the beginning reminded me of my own life-I will do anything for certain things and people in my life-and when they dont' smile, don't want it...

I loved this poem-keep up the good work Clarie...
Aimee Raven chapter 1 . 10/29/2003
This is like...wow! Amazing...freaky but so beautiful...how young r u exactly? I'm 13 if you are the same or younger well then...wow...great poem... I'm speechless really...I'm off to take stuff of my faves list so i can put this on it...brilliant! love and good luck. Twilight

PS:thnx for reviewing my poem 'Darkness' i put the reviews in short hand so that i can put more words in it...lol
Seeker of the Way chapter 1 . 10/27/2003
Wow!

(Pauses to let it sink in).

so much bright imagry burning themselves into my neurons, such sweet seering!

You must feel so out of time and place, feeling so much older than all the fools of your age surrounding you trying to suffocte you.

This is again not a standard form of poetry, it could probably not be published in paper. So? What do they know? They do not care that this came straight from your heart. Again, as I said for someone else, great translation from your inside to the outside.

I didn't notice any typos, how do you do that?

One thing - why is it a BLACK knight? Why do women always want the bad boy?

What this BK would do to this woman, she is alomost already doing it to herself. If he actually acknowledges her would she be bored and refuse his advances only then? Would she suffer and wilt under his harshness if she allowed herself to fall to his advances?

Such great energy in your imagry.

...for someone so young (too young) ;-)
Faylinn Smith chapter 1 . 10/26/2003
Wow, this is surprisingly deep for somebody who claims to be "very young." The darkness is what makes it beautiful. So, SO much different from the typical teenage angst poem...keep writing!