Reviews for Dinner Party Hostess
MandELLA weelilwolf chapter 1 . 12/26/2003
remember me? heh
please post more!
again, this poem is decent and i get the emotion, but there's just a break where i don't understand it.
ME
MandELLA chapter 1 . 11/6/2003
Well, the first stanza was good and had eloquent (i can't think of a better word...) imagery.

This next stanza. Whoa. How did it come to be like this? Is the narrator the unfortunate guest...and what vampiric figure is she? I still understand...and yet, how much damage can you realisticly do with just fingernails?

I see where you are going with the last stanza but it needs work. This could be just me, but i got the sense that her "wine" is his blood. (interesting if it's from a religious perspective, and yet you probably weren't going for that, because that confuses me more). I am assuming our narrator is dying from lack of blood or just the wounds...but it's very rocky. THe line "...while helplessly i flail arms in my eyes..." confuses me to no end.

As for the last sentance, it doesn't flow with the tone of the rest of the poem. I am assuming it is the narrator's last plea, am i right? Then it should be desperate, ended with an exclimation point.

Anyways, i can't wait to see the final draft. I'll check back later, Check on , i updated Fate. Thanks,

MandELLA
MandELLA chapter 1 . 11/6/2003
Well, the first stanza was good and had eloquent (i can't think of a better word...) imagery.

This next stanza. Whoa. How did it come to be like this? Is the narrator the unfortunate guest...and what vampiric figure is she? I still understand...and yet, how much damage can you realisticly do with just fingernails?

I see where you are going with the last stanza but it needs work. This could be just me, but i got the sense that her "wine" is his blood. (interesting if it's from a religious perspective, and yet you probably weren't going for that, because that confuses me more). I am assuming our narrator is dying from lack of blood or just the wounds...but it's very rocky. THe line "...while helplessly i flail arms in my eyes..." confuses me to no end.

As for the last sentance, it doesn't flow with the tone of the rest of the poem. I am assuming it is the narrator's last plea, am i right? Then it should be desperate, ended with an exclimation point.

Anyways, i can't wait to see the final draft. I'll check back later, Check on , i updated Fate. Thanks,

MandELLA