|Reviews for The Great Journey of Ionia: Part 1|
| Fan Taa chapter 24 . 10/1/2007
I am glad the story ended this way. I just hoped you were not going to kill all the characters off. Nice writing.
| AlexdR chapter 4 . 1/23/2007
This is looking awesome, but why couldn't we read what happens during the hunt? That could be chapter by itself! This all really good, but it is all happening to fast. How far is Culilonia from Enza (or is it Tuzxan?)? I'd like to know some things about the culture of Enza. You mentioned castes, but I'd rather have the characters see the castes and them interacting first hand. This is awesome stuff! Very good.
| AlexdR chapter 2 . 1/23/2007
Looking good. I'd like to see Keirian meet Dr. Sykes and why Carson hate Keirian. This phrase bothered me: It was like a library, only not open to the general public. Sounds more like a private library for the Academic Society. Anyways, I'm going to read on.
| AlexdR chapter 1 . 1/23/2007
Wow, this is an interesting start. However, the first section of the chapter were you describe the history feels like an information dump, and I would suggest that you ommit it and let the reader learn about this world as the story progresses.
| Blah246 chapter 20 . 9/20/2004
Yo i finally finished all the current chapters and now im jus waiting for updates, dam it took me hell days. The story and details so far r kickass, as i said b4. there r some slight errors, u know spelling, using the wrong words in wrong places blah blah blah all that ussual crap. the biggest typo i noticed so far though was in chpt 10 where there was a big repeat thing that goes on when Nessa encounters her father. But all these mistakes can be fitered out by a quick read through, out loud of course. Can't wait for more updates.
| jessie chapter 8 . 9/13/2004
this is really good, i love ur details on everything. i could really see all the places they all go. plus that wezlan guy and nessa seem really close. i could just see wezlan stalking them in diseguise and helping them out at unexpected moments as the "mysterious stranger"
| Blah246 chapter 2 . 9/10/2004
good shit, lolz, this is hella kickass, though im only on da second chapter i can hella imagine like a hidden race or sumthin beyond Ionia, cant wait to read the rest.
| Angloth-maidenofthelostwoods chapter 11 . 5/20/2004
Ah...i didn't know you added another chapter sam! Good chapter. Your description of the rivers was very good. Hope you can post more sam :)
| Angloth chapter 9 . 1/30/2004
Sorry its taken me so long to post here. I haven't gotten to read it all yet b/c my comp is evil, but it looks like its going to turn out really well sam :) You might want to re-read it or have someone who is good in English to proofread it for errors. Re-reading it yourself is still a good idea, for any writer. You catch things or decide to change things around and make it better :) Keep up the good work sam! I'll be reading!
| Pseudo mac Cormaic chapter 1 . 12/10/2003
First off, lemme say that this is a very strong piece. You've got some good characters, and a good background(Ionia, the Great Disaster, etc.)
However, the writing seems forced and choppy at times, like the words weren't flowing from you. I understand this, as I am too a writer, and this sort of thing happens to the best of us. Also, when you describe things, it seems random and turbulent, like you rush through them in trying to get to the meat of the piece. Just relax and work your way through, it makes the piece much easier to read. Lastly, proofread a bit. You've got some "to"s instead of "too"s, and such. Other than these minor things, you've got a good story here. Keep up the good work, I'm gonna be expecting good stuff from you in the future.
Best of luck,
| Angloth chapter 4 . 12/5/2003
Great sam! I think you could really make a good story out of this! You're writing is improving :) Keep it up!
| Vivian Larson chapter 1 . 11/29/2003
This is excellent! I love your detail, and in depth explanations of Ionia's history. Keep writing!