Reviews for demons
Electra Fairford chapter 1 . 1/7/2004
I read this a while ago, and went to look up the genocide, and forgot to come back and review. Thanks for expanding my worldview.
A powerful poem, though I think it could do with some revision. The first few lines are too disjoint. Perhaps some end-line punctuation would help. And I will offer the (probably catastrophy-causing) suggestion of rewriting for rhythm, especially the first stanza and the beginning of the last stanza - not necessarily strict meter, but a bit of loose rhythm.
"their men's heads already buried" hit me like an axe. Brilliant line.
antiquatednotions chapter 1 . 12/6/2003
I.. was carried through memories of something I have no experience of.
Which is the mark of an excellent poet.
Before I began high school, I had no idea that there WAS an Armenian genocide. I had Armenian friends my freshman year, and they enlightened me.
More people need to be enlightened.
The Hitler quote was an apt one for a final kicker.
mislight chapter 1 . 12/6/2003
many, many props for writing about this. No one knows about the Armenians, and they should; in addition, this is an excellent poem with definitely vivid imagery. Thanks.
Mime chapter 1 . 11/28/2003
This one made me want to cry for all those who have ever truly suffured amist the plagues of wars. You used incredibly vivid imagery...I feel like I was almost there in the battlefield.
glitterjewele chapter 1 . 11/25/2003
this is very powerful and actually chilling. wonderfully written with innumerable instances of darkly shining bits of imagery. some of my very very favorites were: "the delicate tint of blood," "butterfly breaths fogging gray against her glasses," and "red confetti splashed on snow." absolutely phenomenal, magnificent work, chica.
The Black Rider chapter 1 . 11/21/2003
I once had a friend who was Armenian, and he was always irritated that schools would persist in ignoring the Armenian Genocide. We've since gone our separate ways, but this poem made me think of him.

Extremely well written, probably the best I've ever read from you. Keep up the good work.
Miz E. Mak chapter 1 . 11/20/2003
wow... such an awesome memorial to a tragedy of huge purporsions. It was incredible. This poem shows just how incredible your ability to be a poet is. I pray that God continue to bless you with inspirations and different ways to write.

write on.
Lidless Eye chapter 1 . 11/20/2003
Great, great job on this. I loved the message, it alone created the atmosphere of the poem. Keep it up!

Lidless Eye
Fabian Cortez chapter 1 . 11/20/2003
Hugely moving; very well written and thought provoking.

I wrote pieces myself about the first world war "The Pit" and the second "Normandy" Yours covers an aspect I found very difficult to convey with enough respect.

Exceptionally Well Done!

Keep Writing !

Fabian Cortez
tresparadisE chapter 1 . 11/20/2003
this is amazing, i dont think you NEED to change anything! if one of your aims is to get people interested in that piece of history, you've definately succeeded. wow.

cheers

-tresparadise