|Reviews for Grey Mantle|
| Anjeni Windsinger chapter 1 . 12/23/2003
Mysterious. I love the imagery, I could see everything. Good job on the repitition, also; added more to the poem. Very easy to become lost in this. I especially love the third stanza; for some reason, the imagery of seeing statues moving appealed to me. Amazing write!
| Masha Baitman chapter 1 . 12/15/2003
i really enjoyed this poem, because it creates this beautiful solemn atmosphere of a foggy night (which for some reason makes me think of St Petersburg white nights, but that makes it even nicer). The feeling of solitude is so perfect that when you said 'cellphone' i cringed. I could just hear those distant voices, all fogged out (which makes them sound nice, because i know they are away...), the softness of the dark and the fog, and suddenly the screech of a cell. gr. i really didn;t want to leave that nice foggy place, damn it!
okay, enough of my loose tongue. i have no critique on this, even though i disagree with some ideas you brought up, i will spare you of my philosophizing... : )
- Happy and Crappy. they rhyme. think about it. really. Yours, Masha.
| Simon283 chapter 1 . 12/14/2003
I LOVE when that happens to me. When im really upset and i find mysel;f in a dark place, completely silent. Whenever im scared or upset or mad or when i have an extremely high emotion, i crawl under me desk or into my cuboard, and i hide from everyone, and i LOVE it.
| Sarah Parker chapter 1 . 12/8/2003
Oh, I love this... it has such gorgeous imagery, and such a powerful emotion to it... so creepy, yet peaceful. I know that feeling of being alone in a normally freaky place... yet never wanting to leave there. My driveway is really long and goes at a curve, so when you get to a certain point you can't see the houses on the rest of the street, or my house... and that's like.. my favorite spot because I'm just surrounded by the woods and I can't see any houses, and it's pitch black and kind of freaky... but I never want to leave there. Especially if it's pouring down rain, cause I love walking in the rain. Anyway.. I love this because I can completely relate to the feeling, and because it was just so wonderfully written anyway... I LOVE the last stanza. So TRUE. Keep it up, and thanks for the review and adding me to your list! If you're not already on mine, you're definitely going on. I'll have to go through and read the rest of your stuff as well.
| Celestial Sailor chapter 1 . 12/7/2003
I'm suprised your parents didn't care enough to make sure you were alright on your walk back home.. it really caught me off-guard. I think your poem relates to a grotesque view of the walk to or from the party venue through your eyes, observing even the subtlest of details and expanding them.
"In this dark night,
I ran from the world,
And I found refuge within the darkness,
The solitude of the night."
I found it quite a paradox you wish to flee from the darkness, but at the same time, hide within it. It could be said here that you succumbed to the night life and surrendered yourself to it's embrace.. something you should remember never to do in future. Be careful around parties and such, and make sure you have a secure way of getting home.
| Freeelancer chapter 1 . 11/25/2003
nice poem! i love it! lots of emotion and all. good poem. good job.
| Winged One1 chapter 1 . 11/23/2003
Hi there...this is going the be the Honkin Huge Review from Hell, so prepare yourself.
Wow! I love this poem. The imagery is very real (which means I could feel the fog in my head, feel the grey) (yes, I can feel grey) It's very well told, very very nice.
Also-much thanx for everything you said in the Review! Through Cat's Eyes I See is probably my favorite story I've written, and I'm honored you like it so much so far. The poems are all from a place I don't have a key to, so they come out when they will...Thank you for the self-loathing on my behalf. XD
And about the first paragraph in your bio...don't I know how that goes...being 13 sucks, huh? Anyway, this Review has gone on a touch too long, so I'll be off. Expect to hear from me again in email, or im, or whatever...Beware! Bwahaha...sorry...sugar rush...
| Bleedingtree chapter 1 . 11/23/2003
wow. Mia, this is great. and the whole telling someone how you feel can just release so much of your pain, I was on aim and my friend andy was away and i just broke down and i've never felt so much release. i mean i thought oh well he's gonna think i'm some psycho but no he helped and is still helping me so much. Tell someone, a good friend if they can't handle what you're saying then they aren't a good friend. Knock down the comfort zone walls that you and the rest of us have built
| IHJ chapter 1 . 11/23/2003
Hey, sorry I wasn't online the other time. What happened? Well, I hope the walk in the park (be careful in that park!) helped a lot and you continued to have that feeling after you left.
It's a good poem, but in the sixth stanza, you used "dark" and "darkness". It's a bit, I don't know, redundant. I can feel the loneliness/solitude in this poem and how soothing the darkness can be.
| Dirty Wallpaper chapter 1 . 11/22/2003
very lovely, beautiful, realistic, heart felt. kudos.
| Cirien Phoenix chapter 1 . 11/22/2003
I think I understand how you feel. This poem had a creepy, but very soothing feel to it. Also, I wouldn't recommend walking alone in that area too often in the middle of the night. Sounds kinda dangerous...
Cirien Phoenix of the Eternal Phlame
P.S. What's making you feel so down lately?
| Fangelir chapter 1 . 11/22/2003
I love the repitition. Good vocabulary. I found the last line of the second stanza "I feel good" to stick out as too blunt (maybe something like "I feel the bliss" may be a bit more suitable for the grey tone you're using...) but otherwise, very nicely done.