This is such a wonderful story. Once you finish it, you should definately look into getting it published. I love the way you have set up the story, drawing the reader in before you ever even mentioned vampires. This is an excellent story. I feel very attatched to the characters and their cause. Keep up the good work.

Beautiful. I love this story. I can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the good work!

Awesome. I was wondering when their feelings were going to come out in the open. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Beautiful. I love the sentence:
The things that separated me from Nicholas were as tangible and unmoving as the marble railing beneath my arms.
It has a flow that only a good writer can accomplish. It really makes the reader feel how impossible this feeling is. Keep up the good work.

Excellent. I love it. It is very realistic and deep. You are a very talented writer. Keep it up. I'll be waiting for the next chapter.

This is very good. Well developed and three-dimensional characters. Keep writing. I can't wait to read more.