OK, could you write some crap so I can be more critical? Ha ha, jsut kidding. You ahve such an easy flow to your work. This reminds me of some of my stuff.
But, here it is so visual again, yet another beautiful ballad. it gave a bittersweet atmosphere to a singular moment, it is esoteric and ethereal and wonderous!
good job!
"One day my life will be a chocolate shake and late-night TV/But right now, I'm afraid of everything that is going down/Too many decisions/Too much responsibility/Ah-ah-ah/And no one is there/To hold me/When I fail" - American Lesion - "When I Fail"

Ahh, i felt sorry for you because of your desperate pleading.

Glad i read it though, it's really quite good.

One point i would make is that its not very rhythmic.

It kind of jumps if you know what i mean. Hell, you wanted critisism.

Good job on it and write loads more wont you.

Gd job