Reviews for Breathe
Lux's Confusion chapter 1 . 5/17/2004
sorry bout the pun, lol, but at the end of this poem i did breath in deeply. probably out of satisfaction. all i can say is wow. at first it reminded me of this one guy who used to a lot of the words you did. i knew i didn't know what they were and i'm not about to look them up, but i use it more for imagrey and sparkle rather then find the actual meaning of them. bad i know.
it started out so sour i just thought, oh lord not another one, but then it lightened and lightened. breath is an incredible thing, and i'm glad you saw that because it made this poen incredible. i know that most suicide poem always use breath somewhere in it, but you used it for hope, for something simple to show hey i'm still here, and if i have nothing at least i have this! but god then you turned and made it into the most awesome imagrey i've seen in a long while. if i could do something only half as good...
"you can almost see her glistening
in trees and rock and
water so cold"
loved it. wow. it made me feel as if in a wonderful jungle by some hidden pond with secrets and magik and freedom and teachers. god i can't say it enough, you did a job that i can barely put to words i loved it so much. thank you.
-Jasmine
nine iron chapter 1 . 5/12/2004
FANTASTIC! Love the layout! Looks like a kymograph readout! SO many good lines! Original stuff compleatly. I wrote one called stop wanting that is also about the layout, you can read it in at least 3 different ways.
Keep writing
Nine Iron
Militant-Antibody chapter 1 . 5/2/2004
To hell with punctuation I say. Gotta love this piece, which is to say hate it with a fierey jealousy! SA Your talent frustrates me, this is good stuff. Again I feel the need to compete with you when I've already lost. Look forward to more.
Jennacharm chapter 1 . 4/14/2004
What, you thought I wouldn't submit a review? Yeah right.
This is my favorite, by far. I read this and it made me want to stop writing because I couldn't write this well.
And punctuation? Who needs it anyway?
Check out my stuff.. maybe you'll see somethings you've never read. And your honest opinion would be appreciated.
I also request that you put Tastes like thought up here. Now. Do it do it do it.
The Zaniak chapter 1 . 1/16/2004
I think that using punctuation and writing a decent summary don't really take that long...can't you just do it? It really makes the poem look better.
On the positive side, there was a lot of very good use of alliteration in this. Congrats.
Inissesthai chapter 1 . 11/27/2003
I've read many very good poems in my life, but this one just might be the best one I've ever read. I enjoyed reading it very much. You have great talent.