Reviews for Sinner
Ayashi-san chapter 1 . 6/11/2004
*smiles* I liked this one, it gave me shivers. Very true as well.
Saiai chapter 1 . 4/23/2004
Very strong. You tell them girl!
jsullins chapter 1 . 4/10/2004
Alright, I read your poem "Under Your Shadow," and I just thought I would come check out some of your other work.
One thing that I want to point out about this piece is that throughout you are trying to convey the message that you don't need anyone to feel concerned for your well being and you don't want them worrying about you, spiritually. But then the last couple lines seem a bit like a cry for help. Help which you want from these very same people that you are trying to push away. At first you tell them not to worry and pretty much to just give up, and then you complain by saying, "I can't believe you have already given up on me." It just seems that you are contradicting yourself.
Otherwise, I quite like the piece. It's descriptive and I like this part: I will keep going on/For centuries/I am immortal. I thought that sounded cool. Keep writing, you are doing very well!
-Niniane, Lady of the Lake-
Dirty Wallpaper chapter 1 . 2/1/2004
very well put, you captured the situation, the perspectives, the concepts so well and in so few words. the thing i loved mopst about this poem was that it can relate to so many people, so many different situations *if you just forget about the sinner part* great work, i very much enjoyed. kudos!
P:S - thanks muchly for the reviews, they are appreciated in every way. :)
dreamshell chapter 1 . 12/1/2003
This is a very awesome piece of writing and it conveys a lot of feelings I have as well. And, not to be a bastard, but I'm pretty sure most of us realize the Christians think of themselves as sinners too, Butterfly Radcliffe. That's not the point. The point is that the narrator does not want to be called a sinner because they don't believe in being such a thing and don't feel especially excited about hearing someone else calling them that. At least, that's my interpretation. I feel the same way. Once again, great poem.
aulliana chapter 1 . 11/30/2003
I really like the lines "And I can't believe you have already given up on me." I've never heard anyone put it that way before. Very good work.
Butterfly Radcliffe chapter 1 . 11/30/2003
I can understand where you're coming from. I don't, however, agree with what you're saying. As a Christian myself, I can seriously state that most Christians believe themselves to be sinners as well. In fact, even though I'm a Christian and want to follow God, I can honestly say that I sin at least once a day. I don't think that it's really a matter of Christians "giving up on you", but more that they are trying to give God's message by guilt. Something that I don't agree with either.
Alyx Bradford chapter 1 . 11/28/2003
Nicely done, and I can totally empathize with the sentiment.
"I have no need for
Your deity
Is choosing my own destiny
Such a sin?"
Really liked those lines. This poem was concise and effective. Good job.
LegendaryPunk29 chapter 1 . 11/28/2003
Nice poem, nice poem. I liked it a lot. I knew wat ur talkin about and I liked the idea of wat ur talkin bout. Good job here, keep writin!
If u can, plz r and r some of my work too, it means a lot to me.
Thanks!