Is this about suicide?

It's so sad and messed up. (I mean that in a good way)

But I can see that there's not all that much fantasy involved.

Still, it's pretty good!

I like the expression of the "swan dive", though I don't know what you really meant by using it...
Feels like you are creating something seemingly correct and beautiful, while it is just giving up being true to oneself...(Correct me if I am wrong?)
Good!