Reviews for A False World
wishes21 chapter 20 . 9/21/2004
i absolutely love ur storyline! though the ending is kind of abrupt. could b better if the ending was changed and lengthened. nonetheless, this story is going into my fave story list! D
Jolly Jeff chapter 20 . 2/14/2004
Wow...Cool story!
Medron Pryde chapter 19 . 12/26/2003
Ok...I've spent the last few days thinking about this and how to say what I really think about this story. Generally, I like the story. It offers up a number of very interesting questions, like where some of these characters come from. How did the computer decide to give them so much personality? What is their origin. Why Leila does the things she does. Stuff like that. I liked this. And it was looking for the answers to those questions that kept me coming back.
I hate the ending though. Why? Because it doesn't answer those questions. It takes a Deus Ex Machina and simply ends the story. It feels like you the author decided to stop writing and just ended it. There are plotlines unresolved and the ending makes no sense to me. How could it happen? There seemed to be no leadup to it, unless I missed it. Nothing that I can look back to and say "oh, THAT'S why it happened."
Most of all, I dislike the ending because it does not resolve the questions raised in the story. I love the story. I just don't like the end of it. Please take this criticism in the spirit it is given.
Medron Pryde chapter 20 . 12/21/2003
Ok...this was an interesting ending. Not at all anything I expected. I'd love to see him try to recreate the world he knew...that would be cool.
Dances with Penguins chapter 20 . 12/20/2003
Awesome story.
Medron Pryde chapter 18 . 12/18/2003
The question is, just because she's artificial in origin, does that make her any less real? Or IS she artificial in origin? She just about has to be, but there are times when I wonder if she isn't an adventurer in the game just like Roger...most most interesting...I am very intrigued by this mystery.
Medron Pryde chapter 16 . 12/16/2003
very impressive. You had a "here" instead of a "hear" but the story was good. You nailed his reaction to the Kraken very well. I felt that one...:-)
Jolly Jeff chapter 16 . 12/16/2003
A few spelling mistakes; with homophones and stuff. Other than that, well-written and very, *very* creative.
Endless Abyss chapter 15 . 12/15/2003
Awesomely original idea! I likes it very much! And you update at least as often as i do with frequently longer chapters! Don't know how you do it but I bow to you! Keep up the great work, you're writing style is brilliant!
Aisatsana chapter 1 . 12/12/2003
Wow! I think this is really good.. the idea is really creative.. I think u did a really good job with charecter and plot development.. and really good description
Keep writing!
Please review my stories! I could really use some creative feedback!
I'ma Hogg chapter 1 . 12/12/2003
You sure do have a wacked up mind... I don't know... No wait, I do. I'm not tryin to flame or anything, but the characters seemed sorta flat. VR is a really deep subject.
Medron Pryde chapter 11 . 12/12/2003
That poor knight. She played him like a fiddle...hehehe :-)
TatsuKitty chapter 1 . 12/11/2003
this styory is so captivating. if i was reading so much i would love to have this for a novel. you should try to get it published!
Faladon25 chapter 1 . 12/8/2003
You are a very good writer, I like this story ( I read the whole thing, not just this chapter). I hope you add more to this story and others soon. You have that story about some virus. I wanted to tell you I have a story on (same name: Faladon25). It's a fanfic on Resident Evil. I like it and I hope you'll enjoy it as well. Also, the story you reviewed for me, wasn't really a story. It is more of an appendix to help you better understand my little fantasy world, though it hardly does justice. Well, I enjoy your reviews and ask you to read more of my stuff; I have poems and my favorite story I'm writing, Wrought Darkness. I love your writing and thank you for sharing it.
Sweet water and light laughter,
Dances with Penguins chapter 6 . 12/7/2003
This is becoming even more interesting. I can't wait to see the dragons. Excellent job. I cannot wait for more.
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