Reviews for Depart Me Not
sketchmedesire chapter 1 . 4/10/2004
wow...the last line...wow that just swept me away! i couldnt move the page or breath while i was reading this...it just pulled me in and wouldnt let me out til moments after i read the last line! wow...again rock on my dear buddi!
OldJoe chapter 1 . 4/10/2004
This is incredible... The last part... JUst...I cant even express it...
Crusty-Diamonds chapter 1 . 3/15/2004
often I dislike ryhming poems but you've overcome the clichey ones I always find on fictionpress. This is wonderful! I can feel your pain through your words, and a whole story seems to unfold. Wonderful, just wonderful.
QueenRemge13 chapter 1 . 1/31/2004
Hmm cool poem. Thanks for the review, but if you noticed down the bottom of the poem I put "Then I stopped, because sometimes it's dangerous to dream so much." I don't waste my time pinning after this guy, sure I like him a lot but it's not like whenever I see him I'm like totally dumb struck. We're friends, good friends. I'm not so stupid to try and ruin it. :)But thanks for the review! Great poem again!
QR
Steven Hildreth Jr chapter 1 . 1/6/2004
Whayddya mean you're not very good at writing? According to what I know about good poetry, it's supposed to be deep, delivering a message, in addition to having excellent word choice, which this poem has all three of. I truly wish that I could write emotionally like that, but that's not my gift. It's yours. Appreciate it for what it's worth. :)
z3120 chapter 1 . 12/28/2003
wow... that was deep. A little scary to think that sumone would want to take their own life, but not unreasonable, and you showed me that through this poem. Thanks. Every line that you wrote was amazing! Filled with meaning, friendship, heart. I think i'll have to use this poem one day, its better then wat i could ever tell my friend in person to stop her from suicide _. Well great poem!
deadkitty1 chapter 1 . 12/23/2003
i like the last sentence. i've had a friend who tried to kill herself so i know how u feel. i hope u n ur friend get along ok...
childe of white 19 chapter 1 . 12/23/2003
The last stanza is really good. I have a few friends who have also considered this and it is a good summary of what it feels like and what it means when your friends really are thinking about suicide.
Geno chapter 1 . 12/12/2003
Wow... This is actually the most deep and powerful poem I've ever read. I actually started crying as I read it. I have had 2 friends who wanted to kill themselvs before. As far as I know, one of them did, but at least I was able to talk the other out of it. Well, getting off my problems, I love how you contructed the poem. It's very good, if that didn't change your friends mind, then I don't know what would.
A. E. White chapter 1 . 12/2/2003
Wow - you can write powerfully when you write from your soul. I do not think I have seen you write better. I am no writer or critic of poetry, but your love shows through. There were some themes that were repeated, and some lines were a little awkward. But should you unfortunately need to use it, I would say that it is a finely honed sword - ready for use.
indigogecko chapter 1 . 12/2/2003
from the point of view of sentiment - ouch. crystal clear, and there are a few lines which just fit so painfully into place.
However, lit-crit side of things, I would have to say slight overuse of "poetic word order", it makes it a little harder to follow. If you need to do that just to get a rhyme to fit, consider rhyming a different word..