Reviews for To Become a Suitable Heroine
Bella Galathynius Archeron chapter 25 . 6/24
You should remove this story from Fictionpress. Wait a sec, that sounded like I hate this story. Not at all! I love it! It has a super original plot and a great love story. The reason I wanted you to remove it from this site is so you can publish it as a novel. I'm not even kidding. You could really be an author if you published this. It's so good. It does have one little plot hole, though. When Ray figures out that Ash is the prince, it doesn't really make sense. He looks like himself, with the purple eyes and silver hair. However, you said that almost all of the Heroines recognized him and threw themselves at him (being how Ray realizes Ash is the prince). But, the prince has had dark hair and the green? blue? eyes for the whole time they knew him as the prince. How do they know that the guy with silver hair and purple eyes is the same person as the prince. Not sure if that made any sense. Basically, the Heroines recognized him as the prince when he looked different than the prince they knew. Love your story!
MyDeepDarkSorrow chapter 25 . 4/22
Well that was frigging amazing
Acie chapter 24 . 4/9
I went back and reread the whole story *sigh* that's just how sad my life is... But the story was amazing, as were the characters and it's 2017 now so you probably won't even be on here but it is still an amazing story so I'll re review it (is this classified as ranting) so I just want to say how awesome it is that I'm in love with this story even after re reading it for the fifth time) thank you for everything.
Bye)
chtb00 chapter 25 . 2/14
While reading this chapter I was constantly wondering whether they would end up together and was certain that wasn't the case when I neared the end because of the constant rejections. I am happy to find out that that wasn't the case. It probably would have occupied my mind for days to come. thank you for taking the time to write this story and not be one of those annoying people who don't finish their stories or someone who has a unsatisfying ending and know it.
Odille chapter 25 . 1/7
You're so talented! I reeeeaaaally enjoyed this story an loved the way youbdescribed the first kiss 3 Thank you for the wonderful read! xx
Acie chapter 25 . 12/21/2016
You're amazing and I hope all your dreams come true unless you're evil and want to kill someone in which case I hope only your good dreams come true. Anyway I get off topic a lot but I will come back to your amazingness now. This story is A LOT like this other story I read and really liked but its quite different from it too, the only reason I'm writing this review is because I'm supposed to be sleeping and I know you won't even read this since it was published in 2005. Why am I ranting?

Thanks for the story, Bye x)
Dalix chapter 25 . 11/26/2016
Thank you for this story and for completing it.
Ashmir chapter 25 . 10/15/2016
Thank you for the story! Your writing is amazing
Iceberry the Dragon Cat chapter 14 . 7/13/2016
Truthfully, I hate ash. He's just annoying and rude at this point.
I like ana alot, she's sweet and the ideal friend in this situation!
Iceberry the Dragon Cat chapter 11 . 7/13/2016
When your angry and in a hurry, you forget stuff easily. I know from experience xD
Iceberry the Dragon Cat chapter 8 . 7/13/2016
Lol, this is funny
Iceberry the Dragon Cat chapter 3 . 7/12/2016
*slaps the price for being a butt*
Guest chapter 25 . 4/6/2016
can I marry this story it is my favorite thank you so much for writing it I swear Ray is just like me and could this story get any better?!
John Doe chapter 25 . 3/18/2016
This book... was amazing. I don't know about you, but web novels always have some really bad ways to express romance stories. I remember reading 'The Return of the Condor Heroes', which is a great book, but the romantic misery was too much for me. I can't remember how many times I cursed myself for reading this constant loop of Xiao Long Nu running away as soon as she reunites with Yang Guo for the nth time. There is also 'A Naive, Short-tempered Girl', which I actually dropped because I couldn't handle the mental torture happening to Yao Yao, constantly, 24/7. If I were in her situation, I'd make sure to either move to a country where her pursuers are on the wanted list with the police, move into a Tibetan temple and gain enlightenment or kill myself. There is also almost every Japanese 'romance' novels, which include nothing but blatant 'accidental' fanservice with every onee-san/loli/imouto until the last sentence in the epilogue: "...and then I lived happily ever after with no romance at all, since I didn't notice any of the girlstrap were interested in me, and if anything happened, then I got conveniently concussed by the girl who doesn't want me to remember anything 'embarassing', and eventually they kept fighting over me and then I died a heroic death in my magical space mecha which runs off breast milk, when my troupe grew too old to be 'milked' THE END". Then, we come to the Chinese fantasy novels, where every time a woman is for some reason as talented as the MC even though he took [insert drugs here] pill v1.33.7 and better looking than everyone else in [insert zone here](and actually is nearly as likely as some Japanese works to be a loli), the main character will 'suavely' seduce them and eventually get about 7 wives who for some reason aren't opposed to letting him have millions of wives, and then only lose his virginity when he is 'forced' to for some random reason such as yin-yang fusion. But, I digress. There's probably some dusty books in a library that has much better romance in them. Anyway, I appreciate that this book finished less ambiguously than most, but it still follows the popular trend of light novels where the boy and girl kiss, then end of story. I don't really mind with this book to be honest, I find the end fitting. At least you didn't release 450 chapters of a romance manga which included a confession and kissing at the very last page, just before the big 'THE END' written right under the kissing silhouettes under the sunset. Again I digress. This story was great, it included actual feelings(probably, I don't really know, I don't usually experience them much. I have been called Satan once for being the emotionless ban-hammer wielder, as opposed to the mad banner, who would constantly do anything to make people swear at him so he can ban them, while I just... banned anyone without favoritism?), it looks to me like a story that was enjoyable to write, not just a moneymaking pile of cliches and fanservice. I don't know how to say it, but it feels more natural. The bad point, from my point of view(note really bad, I am just grumpy from overuse of this certain thing in the latest books I've read) are where people who are completely normal, apparently become 'scary', get yandere smiles and dark yandere eyes, and force the main character to do something that they don't like to do, simply because the plot deems it so. Well, at least it's a girl being forced to put on frilly dresses this time. *shudders* The last thing, why cat ears? Is it hereditary? is it a strange form of magic? Will she really grow angel wings? Will she ever get other magic? Will the royal princes and princesses of the next gen. become silver haired kittens wielding flashy purple magic? Why does she get cat instincts? And cat smell? Or even cat fall damage negation? And nothing else(yet)? Anyway, those questions are left unanswered. They probably don't need answering and the cat features might have been in there purely for comedy, not for story, but I have been ruminating over them while distractedly writing this review. By the way, I love the story, you should be happy. If you hadn't already got the message from the previous words anyway. Have a fun time writing things.
TedWicken chapter 25 . 1/27/2016
I just finished reading your story...and I must agree with you with was mushy, and cliche'. *shrugs* However, I suppose the story as a whole was very good. All stories are gems, gems that need a bit of polishing. You are again, correct, the only way I see this story improving is if you rewrite the entire thing with more description. Some things went too fast, others not fast enough, and the lack of description killed my soul. However all things considered, your base is sound, your 'voice' is lovely, and the way your writing comes out is so raw and real...you can really understand and love the character. A lot of people have trouble with this, either their character is too perfect, or they're the victim of life. You have done a stupendous job with mixing a believable real-life character, into a completely unbelievable story. Thus you deserve a good rating, and have earned a favorite from me. You had better expect my upcoming reviews on your other finished stories.

To Your General Health,
TedWicken.
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