|Reviews for To Become a Suitable Heroine|
| TedWicken chapter 25 . 1/27
I just finished reading your story...and I must agree with you with was mushy, and cliche'. *shrugs* However, I suppose the story as a whole was very good. All stories are gems, gems that need a bit of polishing. You are again, correct, the only way I see this story improving is if you rewrite the entire thing with more description. Some things went too fast, others not fast enough, and the lack of description killed my soul. However all things considered, your base is sound, your 'voice' is lovely, and the way your writing comes out is so raw and real...you can really understand and love the character. A lot of people have trouble with this, either their character is too perfect, or they're the victim of life. You have done a stupendous job with mixing a believable real-life character, into a completely unbelievable story. Thus you deserve a good rating, and have earned a favorite from me. You had better expect my upcoming reviews on your other finished stories.
To Your General Health,
| Somebody chapter 25 . 12/30/2015
Your plea touched my replacement-for-heart ice.
Just one word: Awesome!
Maybe two: Heart touching.
Three?: Fabulously fantasticly mindblowing!
I. Loved. Every. Single. Moment. Of it!
| a person chapter 25 . 12/2/2015
This is not meant to offend but I agree with Imthecolourofnight. The ending wasnt great. It seemed like when you changed Ray's name (by accident or on purpose I dont know. Plus how can Ray be Ray when there is no y?) That ray died with the name. The last chapter depressed me, but at least you finished it. The most of the story was so funny and had a fair bit of action and a snarky/sarcastic ray and it was soooo good. Then the end was really cliched and rushed and Ray doesnt even talk like that and- it just depresses and annoys me that such a great story can have such a let down of an ending, again no offense. So yeah your writing style changed but at least try a bit. Yeah I know I'm a decade late but whatever. Thanks. Again, one more time, no offense. :-)
| josegote chapter 25 . 11/17/2015
Hey. I loved it. Really. so... yeah
There you go. Now you know i was one of the ones reading the story (i favorite tho)
hope u good
| Rka chapter 25 . 10/1/2015
*shrieks for a gajillion years* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LVOE HTIS SO MUCH
| TheNextGamer chapter 25 . 9/29/2015
This was a good read.
Far better than all those stories with the girl in high school, going after the Bad Boy Angsty Angst dramatic, I hate my parents and my friends and my life and myself all at the same time forever and ever, stories.
Main character? Relatable. Fun. Cute. Ten times better than "high school girl that complains about everything in life."
Male Love Interest? Relatable. Charming. Ten times better than "Bad Boy McGee who rides motorcycles and broods a lot."
Main Rival? At least it's confirmed that she was mentally unstable.
All in all for me, second-best story out of all of fictionpress, first-best romance story out of all of fictionpress.
| Sigy Artyn chapter 25 . 7/21/2015
Hihi, I really enjoyed this story! Pkay, maybe you could have done more world-building, that sort of stuff, I dunno, but I felt that it was meant as a light and funny story to just enjoy and not take to seriously so I did that.
I laughed lots! It was really funny sometimes and I couldn't explain to others why I was laughing, heh, bjt I really did enjoy it, it was good! I like dhow it - she - was very honest, it was nice :)
Yup, really liked this! Thanks for writing!
| Ameila loves Anime chapter 25 . 7/7/2015
I really loved this story. Every character was full of personality, and Ray and Ash were adorable! This was constantly making me smile and I enjoyed every minute of it (even if I stayed up LITERALLY all night reading this and I'm in a serious need for sleep!-) Thank you SO much for writing this! You did a amazing job breathing life into every page. You are a wonderful writer.
| Cassarah chapter 25 . 6/29/2015
AMAZING book all the way through and I 3 your style of writing! ..
| TeeHee chapter 14 . 6/25/2015
amazing book so far Good Job!
| kaeris chapter 25 . 5/14/2015
okay listen, this ending was absolutely beautiful. brilliant. spectacular. striking. awesome. fantastic. fabulous. yeah.
| aviendhaphiragon chapter 25 . 4/30/2015
Nice. Ten years later ... and people are sill reading it. I do think it needs something about her a queen, though.
| Kiacii chapter 1 . 4/15/2015
Holy Marshmallows, the first part of the story is so freakin' epic! I easily get excited to read this new story! This is my first ever story I've ever read from FictionPress! I hope this will be epic :)
| AlysonSerenaStone chapter 25 . 3/27/2015
For the most part, I really enjoyed this story. I loved the idea of the heroine constant and really enjoyed the characters. The humour was a little bit over the top in some places, but it was still well done. I did like your dialogue and how smoothly this was written. Ray was also a very enjoyable character. Great story!
| Zabel Seishimugen chapter 25 . 2/26/2015
Great job, mate. Pity there's no wedding, but the promise of one through the final kiss makes up for it rather well. Keep up the good work.