|Reviews for The Mercenary|
| Beth Tsany chapter 14 . 7/22/2005
Gah! NADINE! Those BASTARDS! Asa better save her. Really. There will be consequences if she doesn't. I assure you.
Anyhow, as usual, your action is right on target. And these bad guys are seriously evil. Like, seriously. Readers want to tear off their arms and beat them over the head with them. Or maybe that's just me.
| Beth Tsany chapter 13 . 4/17/2005
Okay, as much as I love Asa and Draidin, Petra is one kick ass villainess. I can't wait to see more action between her and the white hats.
| Lord Anime chapter 1 . 3/5/2005
good luck you should do well with this.
Note found you thou by way of your fan fic
| Beth Tsany chapter 12 . 1/17/2005
Asa's complete and total dominance as an and her ability to rock my and his Baby.
I've been missing these characters. You've really done a great job at making them likeable and complete.
I've also missed the jewels of witticisms all through your writing (“You mean Mohawk boy?” Priceless!)
You still need to work on the format of separating scenes. Now that FP has that nifty preview button you can totally insert stars or lines or something to separate scenes. Please?
| Beth Tsany chapter 1 . 8/29/2004
Heh heh. This review is just for me to be able to add it to my favorites.
| Beth Tsany chapter 11 . 4/23/2004
To say I was amused by the antics of the ambassadors is an understatement. That whole scene was frickin' hillarious. And I found Draidin's comment (“If anyone is going to get anything accomplished, it’ll be us.”) to be very intriguing.
There were a few minor oopsies in the dialogue. Like Asa saying what the heck... WHY dear gods is Asa saying HECK? It felt like Asa got possessed by the demonic presence of a disgruntled fifties housewife. Also, in the dialogue... “So your just going to send you troops on a suicide mission?” another townsperson asked... You used the wrong "your". It should be "You're".
I'd also like to take the time to state precisely how much Nadine rocks my socks. She is one brave and saucy lil' chica!
Oh, yes, I almost forgot. You should probably have some way of separating jumps in scene. That'd make it a bit easier to read even though I'm totally glued to The Mercernary now. I
| Primed Pistol chapter 11 . 4/20/2004
Wow! I totally love this story! It's totally techno-extreme, and that just kicks ass. As for your writing, you're descriptive enough to be interesting without being overly verbose and flowery. Very effective writing.
Oh, and way cool story...I can't say that enough.
| Beth Tsany chapter 10 . 12/17/2003
Still as good as ever and the new format is certainly easier to handle.
One gripe though: when are we getting more?