Reviews for Fallen Too Quickly
Ailie-Rose chapter 8 . 9/25/2004
Ok so Now I have caught up, The story is going smoothly, Ok I think Jake and Kody would be cute together, I hope Maddy starts to get better, Well anyway I am off to bed so UPdate soon, Till next chappy take care, Megs
Ailie-Rose chapter 5 . 9/25/2004
That was A good Idea to clear that up, I had an idea that "Kody" was Dakoda, and "Bees" was Madison and that "Jacob" was Jake but it's good that it was actually cleared up, Anyway I am off to read more of the story,
Megs
Ailie-Rose chapter 1 . 9/10/2004
Hiya, This Story was suggested through another girl I read from and decided to give it a go, So far it's not bad, I'll review later in the story, till ten take care Megs
escapevelocityo2 chapter 7 . 8/26/2004
I've been having a lot of trouble continuing on with this story, but I guess its just writers block.
In response to many readers comments about the story moving quickly, I just wanted to portray very,very clearly how sometimes in life things go very, very quickly, and before you knew it its all just fallen way too quickly. (Hence the title)
For Dakota and Maddy and Jake, everything just changed at a really fast pace and they just couldnt grasp it all...
maybe i did a bad job in writing it b/c so many of you didnt seem to get it..
till next ch,
~lana
Lia chapter 1 . 8/23/2004
Your details are nice, but your story flow is choppy.
Your story looks unprofessional when you use '!' and 'so'. It looks like something made by a 12 year old that just happened to want to start writing one day and put some words on a page and posted it. Please. Don't be like that.
Your paragraphing needs a little work, although I could say it's better than most.
Your plot seems to be going /too/ fast. Slow things down a bit.
Overall, I think you need to look over your story once again and compare it to a published novel. Then, you will understand why I am giving you these tips.
Please, don't think of this as flame. This is constructive criticism. Use it to help you out a bit.
freedman121 chapter 8 . 6/6/2004
Nice (emphasis) chapter. I really liked this one. Only...sometimes you went from past tense to present tense. So, try to fix that up.
-Freedman
jsprincess247 chapter 8 . 5/31/2004
hey, awsome chapter. very well writen i have to tell u. u should write a stopry about u and lee wont that be cool lmao...anywho i really like this chapter but u should really start putting it in dakotas POV i want to kno whats going on with her and what shes thinking. well gr8 work hun talk to u in school mwaz.
MCM315 chapter 8 . 5/31/2004
Good chapter, Lana. I like Jake and the problems he's going through with his mother and Madison. Poor Madison isn't handling Tony's death well, which makes sense. Jake's trying to be a friend, but confused about his feelings for Madison and her feelings for him. It's all very complicated, but makes for a good story. Keep up the good work!
crazeesexciekool chapter 8 . 5/30/2004
OMFG! i LOVE this chapter it's amazing omg omg omg omg it's so good do u get the point? omg i luv it and i feel so bad for jake i can't believe his mother wouldn't allow him to join the band! ugh parents can't live with them can't live with out them actually u can if they pay ur credit card bills (LOL remember?) it comes with the deal right? lolol well that's that! Ur story is amazing i luv it it's so good! well hurry up and post the next chap! I'M WAITING!
a e i o u and sometimes y chapter 1 . 5/30/2004
I'll be checking back; I like what I've read so far!
escapevelocityo2 chapter 8 . 5/30/2004
Hi,
This was actually supposed to be an authors note but I was rushing to get the chapter up, so i forgot to include it in there.
First off, I'm really sorry that it took me so long to get it up, I had a major case of writer's block and way too little time.
I tried to make up for it by making this chapter long, but I dunno if that compensates.
I actually started a new story, a lot different than this one and I have sort of been going back and forth writing between the two. I hope to finish the default chapter soon and then I'll put it up.
alrighty, like i said before, I'm really sorry, but enjoy this chapter and r &r.
Thanks!
~Lana
crazeesexciekool chapter 7 . 4/24/2004
woah! lana that was awesome i can't believe that that dude is dr. ozelius that was really funy! gurl i'm seriously addicted to this story u said after i reveiw u're gonna make chapter 8 and i reviewed so hurry up and get chapter 8 up i really like it! it's so good! *nods* btw i posted mine and mir's story here 'the boy is mine' our pen name is 'sandmbf4l' plz read it and tell me wachu think k? be honest ;) chao!
MCM315 chapter 7 . 4/20/2004
Hm, the doc sounds hot! It's all in the eyes, right? I liked this chapter and hope you develop Holly more; she seems like a typical 'popular' type that is labeled all wrong. I need more Jake :) I wanna know what's going on in New York. Maybe the next chapter...? (hint, hint)
Great job and, no, I don't think you're rushing anything. This chapter flowed well and kept my interest. Keep writing and thanks for letting me know when you update!
Liz chapter 7 . 4/10/2004
Hey beautiful,
how are you?
This was an amazing chapter. The ending rocked the most though! It was ... how would I put it? Genius!
Paris was amazing too. M you have got to taste strawberries in cream. :).
That dream in the beginning was really powerful. It actually reminded me of dom... Her mother, and the idea of visiting a shrink. Hmm... vivid memories come to mind :).
Keep on writing.
Love, Listen
p.s. Cm ! Not Subdued Eros! Your pick doll. Mel says subdued eros fits for this one more.
jsprincess247 chapter 7 . 4/9/2004
hello, havent reviewed in a while soo sorry. the story is gr8!
awsome i love it. keep writing ur very talented and i guess ill see u around(literallyy)
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