|Reviews for Third time or third time's a charm, hopefully|
| Punky Monkey chapter 1 . 12/29/2003
This is good. I like the way the final para and 'love' is still on going and the poems not about three relationships ending. If that makes sence? Anyway love the final line. :)
| yellow sparks chapter 1 . 12/28/2003
I really like this one...Wow..this is getting scary..Tenth grade, too..lol...But sadly, no loves for me. :-( So I lied..I love poetry! :-) Again, I like the ending of this one. I also like the way the poem progresses throughout the years..Great. And congrats on snagging a poet boyfriend~ ;-)
| pippin tomson chapter 1 . 12/24/2003
what an interesting way to write a poem, I aven't seen it used before, and it has a really good effect. I really enjoyed reading your poem. Thanx for sharing! wonderful work!
| tofujunky chapter 1 . 12/22/2003
I like this one, too. Flows nicely and an interesting take on your love life in words.
Just a couple of suggestions, though:
Write out your numbers (Three instead of 3), only because I believe when it comes to poetry letters are better than #s.
Stay consistent with the I's - some parts, you have it lowercase and other times, it's capatalize.
#1 : "punk, rebellious, funny, quiet" - (noun, adjective, adjective, adjective)
#2 : "gothic, sweet, crazy, loud" - (all four are adjectives). I suggest you write "goth" and not "gothic" to follow the descriptions of #1.
#3 : "athletic, sweet, poet, nice" - (adj., adj., noun, adj.) Again, it would be smoother if you kept a pattern. Maybe "athlete, sweet, poetic, nice" or some such.
Hope that helps. Keep writing, 'cause you definitely have a natural talent with writing poetry - especially sincere, genuine, fresh poems.
By the way, about the title, I think either would be fine. Or maybe "Third Time's a Charm, Hopefully!" ;)
| me10 chapter 1 . 12/20/2003
this is SO brilliant! i love the fact that it doesnt rhyme because it has such excellent rhthm.
i like the different times, people and feelings and the last stanza is sad: 'and heartbreak is yet to come'
| Broken Petals chapter 1 . 12/16/2003
Oh, this is so sad. Love sucks, as you once said to me. Anyway, I've missed reading your poetry, I'll try to review more often
Keep writing, it's really good.
P.s. Can you read my cousin's poems? she's Rain Cloud83, she's really good.
| unwritten chapter 1 . 12/14/2003
cute, i liked the last line best.
| Insomnis Veritas chapter 1 . 12/13/2003
Ahh ;_; this is sad. I like, but 'tis sad. kep up the gd work *sniffles*
ps ;_; u have betta lucl]k in love than i do...
| SeaVoi chapter 1 . 12/13/2003
At first I didn't like it so much, but I kept reading, I really think it turned out cool! SO if your dude writes is he on FictionPress? I just wonder a little!
| William Ironclad chapter 1 . 12/12/2003
I don't think I've ever seen anyone do something like this before. Very creative.
The Great, the Mighty, the Orc King
| sunstormed chapter 1 . 12/12/2003
aww the last bit's so sweet!
thank you so much for reviewing like all of my stuff! yay!
| Unchained Soul chapter 1 . 12/12/2003
i love the line "and heatbreak is yet to come"
erally nice poem, i think there are a few typos in there but I'm not sure if you meant to make them. Nicely done though!