|Reviews for Vampire|
| Solomon Sia chapter 1 . 5/14/2012
This excerpt from 9 years ago started the twilight series!
| Patricia Louise chapter 1 . 10/28/2009
An interesting piece...I'm always attracked to vampire stories, and I like the experiment in form here. You really made me feel for him, which is a great thing. Well done!
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 1 . 1/12/2009
Well that is a good piece of work here. You really did well in highlighting the vampire's humanity. Just one thing I feel that you can improve on is that you could have done so much more on the vampire's character exploration. From what I've seen here, it's not really detailed enough to make the reader feel for him. Understand the humanity in him, yes. Feeling for him, not that much. But then again, this is more or less an experimental work for you, so I don't think I have anything much to complain. :) Apart from that, nothing to say. And yeah, thanks for your reviews on Circles of Arven and A Ranger's Tale as well. Hope to see more of your reviews soon! Bye! :)
| Narq chapter 1 . 12/13/2008
This is so SAD! but it's also very good!
"I look at teh hand again." I think 'teh' is 'the' here.
I think this story deserves some expanding, as some parts are choppy and the time zones jump from one to another without a bridge.
| Kaitlyn Bathory chapter 1 . 12/8/2008
The concept would be nice, but isn't the guy supposed to be a vampire? In which case, you have a lot of facts wrong. Trust me, I write a lot and do a lot of research on these subjects. When the dude is stabbed, how can he taste blood? A human probably could, but blood does not flow through the veins of a vampire. They cannot make tears, almost all fluid has been removed from their bodies. They can't die from being shot, as the servant did.
Other than that, nothing's wrong except grammar. But it is a nice story! I liked it! There were just a few facts missing and changed.
| Levi Hollow chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
I liked this, as well. It had that theme of "love gives a person the opportunity to crush you". I was kind of hoping that he'd end up with her, but your story had that cold sense of reality. Good job!
| Greenery chapter 1 . 1/11/2008
I almost cried at the end! The emotions are so empathetic; it's easy to understand how the vampire and rosemary were feeling.
I love first person present. One of my favorite writing styles, and I think you manage it quite well. Although your first sentence is actually in past tense. No grammatical errors that I spotted. Your words are neat and powerful, and I am terribly sorry I chose something short and old to review rather than one of your many longer pieces. I was just so torn! They all sound quite interesting, and when I have time I hope to get to them. So far, I'm liking the way you write. You can trust that I'll be back for something else soon!
| RadioActive-CupCake chapter 1 . 12/17/2007
I love your idea, a little errors here and there. I really do like your idea though. I'm curious though, what vampire movie did you watch? I doubt it would suprise me. Your idea kind of inspires me though I really like it. _
| CerriC chapter 1 . 7/6/2007
Interesting concept. I've always wondered why a vampire would fall in love and this answers it fairly well. I wish this was longer though - a little fleshing out could turn this into a great short story.
| Darla Summers chapter 1 . 5/7/2007
incredibly gripping, interesting take to give a human girl so much healing power as to affect a vampire
i would suggest the "I feel her terror and I am happy for it." be altered slightly to be less tell more show
would like to see more definitely, who is this girl? how did the vampire come to possess her?
| Dearest Dexter chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
Wow... incredibly good read. Thank you very much for your reviews for Solus. That is my first vampire story I've ever posted. You are incredibly good at writing stories involving vampires. This short story is incredibly descriptive, and a very good one shot. Keep writing!
| Shet Lloyd chapter 1 . 11/23/2006
I guess I do have a prejudice against vampires in fiction, but that's mostly because most of the fiction I've read with vampires in it was kind of badly-written and made me want to stab it.
I did enjoy your story, though. The twist at the end was a nice touch, and your style is a good one. It flows really nicely. I suppose that overdone subjects can be good if written well and with characters that have depth.
| D L Dzioba chapter 1 . 10/25/2006
Wow. Just... wow. I love this piece, thought it's short it is full with detail and emotion. If you could expand on it, I would love that so much. It's a very well done vampire story.
| Lilith Corbett chapter 1 . 9/5/2006
Typical. It's so sad when the monsters don't get the girl. I empathize with them. However, the fact that I am dissapointed that another great character didn't get the love he deserves is the sign of a good story. The fact that I am associating it in my mind with stories and movies such as Dracula, Phantom of the Opera, etc. is the sign of a truly great story! Good job!
| robott chapter 1 . 7/7/2006
Wow, it really pulls you in to read more.