Reviews for Waiting
bookface31 chapter 1 . 9/24/2006
This is really very adorable, but I'm slightly confused. I kinda don't get what's going on. The first part of the story...was that the past? Or the present? I get that she disappeared because of her step-dad, but I'm...well...I'll just keep reading.

I like this story, though! It's cute!
chrissie 21 chapter 2 . 8/9/2006
This was such a good storyThe beginning was very sad. But the ending was sweet
Ladiebug chapter 2 . 7/23/2006
Well i thought the first chapter was really good, but i'm kinda confused. Did the step dad kill Amy? Or did her bury her alive? Anyway, interesting read, keep up the good work..)
fallin4ualwayz chapter 2 . 7/8/2006
*sniffles* its beautiful! im crying! i love it! i always was a romantic lol u did a very good job on this one
kimistarr chapter 1 . 5/11/2006
awe... this is so... depressing...

i liked the first ending more, it brought out more emotion in me but i hope there was something else after that... but great work!

i have to admit, it really touched me.. i hate these kinds of stories *i just lied* it hurts me but i enjoy reading it.

well for your story, i really like it...
pointythings chapter 1 . 4/30/2006
Wow. This is so sad. *sob*

However, there are some things I'd like to point out...first of all, there are some grammar and spelling errors; nothing major, but you might want to proofread it again. Also, I think you have a tendency to tell instead of show; maybe you could use little details to explain how someone's feeling instead of telling us straight.

In terms of the story itself, I think Amy's interactions with her father seem a tad unrealistic; of course, I don't know anything about it, but they just don't seem convincing to me. Maybe you could look at being a little more subtle. I love your characterization of Chris...he seems so sweet, and plausible at the same time. However, I think he should be a little more concerned about the bruise; it seems like he just acts like it's nothing. Actually, I'd like to hear more about how Chris is feeling in general.

The description of the murder is's subtle, which makes it all the more effective. And personally, I've read the alternate ending, and I really prefer this one. It's not entirely sad; it's sweet too because Chris still has hope (which, of course, is sad in itself). Anyway, the other ending just seems trite and unrealistic to me; it's too fairytale. I think you should stick with this one.

Sorry this is so long...

Yours in writing,~pointythings
miss understanding chapter 1 . 3/21/2006
I hope that this doesn't make me a bad person, but I thought it was better before the second chapter. It seemed a bit ... tacked on, but then again, I'm no romantic so yeah. The story seemed so much more meaningful and bittersweet when he's saying how he'll wait forever and she's dead. You are a good writer. The dialog seemed really realistic and Adam was just plain scary -_-. I think the best part about the first chapter though is that it shows how helpless characters are in the real world towards the power of fate. Kudos! _~

P.S. I am not an evil person by the way ... I just loathe the ever-popular happily-ever-after. Yuck!

brokendreams21 chapter 2 . 1/27/2006
Yay! It's a happier ending. Don't hate me for saying this, but I liked the ending of the first one better. Happy endings are always good, but unhappy endings and a cliffhanger-ish ending may sometimes be better. Either way, I really enjoyed this story! Great job!
brokendreams21 chapter 1 . 1/27/2006
NO! Oh, the irony! That's so...sad. But I really love it. I like where this story is going (although you just killed her off...) The plot is quite good and you have the right amount of descriptions and such. It's just amazing! (Now, onwards to the next chapter!) Great job!
les petits bateaux chapter 2 . 10/3/2005
Wow...this is so beautiful! A very sad beginning with a passionate ending. Hats off to you!

Elaine chapter 2 . 8/28/2005
I love this story. it is so sweet and sad. i hate that step father. i guess chris doesnt know that amy's dead or something. anyway, i love this story. keep writing.
axiden chapter 1 . 8/25/2005
I love the story! But can you please make it longer? Your story is good and i likve the abusive kinda things..
Bloodress chapter 2 . 8/12/2005
This is nice. Both sides of the story. very sad by the way.

Raechel Clawson
HayleyLoverly chapter 1 . 7/29/2005
I LOVED that story!, I think I prefered the second one cause the first one she died...and that was awfully sad...hehe. And in the second one they lived ha[[ily ever after! You should bee a published author!
SilverCold chapter 2 . 3/26/2005
You know, I'm probably just a morbid little freak, but I preferred the first ending. It was a heart wrenching story that I adored. The new ending isn't bad, but it doesn't make sense. You didn't explain where she went etc.
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