Reviews for The Tale of the Kythia Roqui
laerai chapter 7 . 4/11/2004
I like this. It was a bit slower, but still a sort of fast pace... I think I know why it seems this way. When they are traveling, it seems like everything is so closer. They arrive quickly to their destinations. I know it is probably not your intent for it to seem that way, but thats the way it comes out. The romantic elements seem a little bit more subdued, but still present, which is nice.
laerai chapter 6 . 4/11/2004
The romance factor was cute here, but it seems like this is moving way too fast. And this chapter makes me think that the beginning needs some more explanation, or perhaps needs to be written out entirely... I like that you are explaining more of whats happening... but it seems really fast. I still love the plot and whatnot thoguh.
laerai chapter 5 . 4/11/2004
I like the way you end the chapters. Some people end it randomly, and its like action just stops. But you let it wind down. This seems like the story will have a romantic element to it. Its very workable. It just seems a little fast-paced. Some more background info is needed. I still love the plotline though. I won't write large stories regardless of ideas I have in my head, because I cannot carry them out. I always end up writing really really short ones, or poems. The only one I've ever completed was for a class.
laerai chapter 4 . 4/11/2004
I liked this one too. It was better, because it didn't seem so fastly paced. Perhaps as they were traveling... that could have been longer. Minor typos, still need a beta (I'm going to stop saying that from now on lol)... The names you come up with are great. I really like the new character, Drumpuert! Its like you really breathed life into him. When I think of him, he seems like a large, robust man, with like a mustache, and a fatherly manner... and also very quirky! Ah, so one thing you could do, is describe your characters and how things look a little bit more. Set a scence. Make the reader aware of the surroundings!
laerai chapter 3 . 4/11/2004
This is for Chapters 1-3:
So far, this shows such great promise! I love the plotline. You do come up with great ideas! There are some typos and whatnot... and I think the pace is really really fast though. It could be stretched out a bit more. It's like they just all met each other, and already they are all pals! Maybe a bit more distance between them... or a bit more explanation? If it seemed more stretched out (in amount of words, or chapters or explanations etc), then perhaps the quick pace wouldn't be easier to swallow. But I love this overall. You come up with great names! : )
A-wolf-called-Skya chapter 1 . 4/9/2004
Hi! i'm a bit late, but i read the first chap.
Some spelling and grammar errors, but otherwise, it was pretty good.
you also went slightly fast in a few areas, which i understand.
I think the men are going to try and kiddnap them or something _'
i'll read on!
-Rachel.
*Every legend leaves a mark...and netscape leaves a fat scar!*
X.x. Wolven Princess chapter 16 . 3/26/2004
EXCELLENT! BRILLIANT! I LOVE IT!
Oui, J'adore Le Story! Toir super!
o.o May be wrong, but eh, oh well. French talkin'! I love new languages. Learning French, already learned most Espanol, yet, forgot most of it also, and have a japanese is 3 montsh book as well. Plus I am learning sign language, dog language, cat language, and maybe even portugese(sp?)! . Anyway, loved the story, took me quite a while to read it all, but loved it all the same.
Farwell and O'ivoi,
writeistic /neopets/
RustPoisonedBlade chapter 15 . 3/16/2004
once again...very good.
RustPoisonedBlade chapter 14 . 3/12/2004
oh,i hope they reach him! Poor Lenorin and Janarah!...BTW,what was the box for?
RustPoisonedBlade chapter 13 . 3/12/2004
Ahh,yes! very good! some spelling errors,but very good.
RustPoisonedBlade chapter 12 . 3/9/2004
yes! this is good! very good. a couple spelling errors,but over all,good.
RustPoisonedBlade chapter 11 . 3/8/2004
OO! I liked the whole hostory of the Kythia-Roqui and the Triaga.I find stuff like that really cool. Hope to hear more soon! (thanks for reviewing my poem)
RustPoisonedBlade chapter 10 . 2/6/2004
I like it. Very good! Keep going. I wanna hear the story!
Soul-Mage chapter 1 . 1/29/2004
Who is Keanorin? What race is she? etc...
Well, i shall read on! -
I like it so far!
Soul_Mage
RustPoisonedBlade chapter 7 . 1/1/2004
good. A few spelling errors,but other than that,i really like it!
Jarid seems like a cool to see more of him later on :)Keep writting!
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