|Reviews for if it was you|
| your guilty pleasure chapter 2 . 6/3/2005
wow. You have major talent. I love your vocabulary, I actually had to find a dictionary for a word and I pride myself on my wide-spread vocabulary. lol. well tre excellent.
It's rather original and extreamly well placed. Trivial editing mistakes ruin the visage a bit, but other than that it's beautiful.
| Fallen Too Far chapter 5 . 11/27/2004
Hey, this is really beautiful and deep. And so true, people don't notice things, don't care about strangers, treat them like they aren't actually people if they have the slightest difference.
Btw, thanks for the review. Believe it or not it cheered me up. You deserve some sort of medal for that.
| theperson2000 chapter 5 . 11/5/2004
um i read your story sort of thing and it is really hot, i like your idea of anger sex-lots of biting and scratching and screaming-you need some mouth action as well they must really like each other right? this is very um southern so you know do more stuff-um ok -ya sexy yakima fruit market boy
| ezyret chapter 4 . 5/24/2004
this is a very powerful story with a strong message. it's told in a way that is different than most stories- not shying away from unconventional issues. this is very good, and I commend you for the courage that it takes to write such a piece. I'd like for you to continue, so that I may see how you deal with other issues. .
| L neils chapter 4 . 4/16/2004
man this is ace! for real, i got so caught up in it... it's f*cking fantastic.
the only thing i'd suggest is to make a new line when someone's talking. eg.
"my brother," he said.
"really?" came the reply.
just makes it easier in chunks of text if there's a line there.
damnit, this story is so good. write more!
*btw, i've put a new story up, 'hide and seek' it's very angsty (what else?) and i'd like for you to read it*
| Frozen Soul chapter 1 . 1/20/2004
This is truly beutiful. Of course, I wouldn't expect any less from you. Write more soon.
| briel-morrigan chapter 4 . 1/12/2004
Please write more.
| staying-anon chapter 4 . 12/23/2003
hey hun. holy mother of crap... this is so amazing. im sorry ive been so absent. this is so gergeous though, some of your language is so incredibly lovely, i went back and read parts over and over and over. you are so talented. im in love with the story, with the characters, with your writing... NEVER stop.
| candielizabeth chapter 4 . 12/19/2003
I've been reading this story from the beginning and I have to say I'm in love with the character Aiden and Kye.
While the subject is totally taboo, the love between them is undeniably beautiful. However, I think it needs more explaination. How did the boys come to find this method of coping with the problems in their lives? Why is the father so strange and unapproachable? What is his connection with Kye, that he would choose to take him over Aiden or over a joint custody agreement? You have a solid start to this story. Something I have thought about since you sent me the first copy in the mail was about the greek myth of
Narcisus. A god who has all the woman in the land throwing themselves at him and he can't find anyone among them that he loves. One day he bends to take a drink from a clear pool of water and sees the most beautiful creature he's ever seen. He can't stop staring into the water. Of course it's his own reflection he has fallen in love with.
I thought it might be interesting to add some aspect of that myth to your story. Since the boys are identical and in love.
Another thing to keep in mind is don't worry about writing in context or keeping with the same theme. Write what ever pops into your head about these characters and their lives. It can all be shifted around and edited later.
Good luck! You know I Love IT!