|Reviews for A Cold Day in December|
| Tumarbar Arranoilis chapter 1 . 1/19/2005
Wow. Very, very inspirational indeed. I like it.
| Needs Therapy chapter 1 . 8/10/2004
interesting. not really a fan of religious stories but this one was pretty good. not bad at all.
| Riely Marie chapter 1 . 8/8/2004
Okiedokie... heres another review..
It moved really quick.. there were a few gramatical errors and spelling errors but its otay u can fix that )..
My boyfriend is Catholic.. so.. it makes it sound like hes preaching to me lol.. anyway.. it was a good moral..
| Lickity-Split chapter 1 . 7/24/2004
i really like your style of writing, and thanks for reviewing my Black Beau. the story definately kept my attention, which is great, cuz sometimes i read stuff and my mind wanders . . . but not with this! good way of putting the moral too, and thanks again for reviewing my stuff!
| Life on Marz chapter 1 . 7/16/2004
Thats really good, I liked it and it's moral issue, do to others what you would have done to you. We hear it so much but that was really nice...pretty! .
Thanks for reading my stuff
| Jon Blue chapter 1 . 6/14/2004
Funny, how your review for my thing, seemed more like an advertisement for your work. ;) But nonetheless, I came, and am reviewin, I must say that this was an interestin story. And that I feel the same way about your writin thus far, has an originality type of quality to it.
_the protection from the elements
stuff like that. But it's ironic, that the guy changes his ways just to get somethin, how self-centered of him. Well neway, good story. Kept my attention, which is good on your part, if your able to keep my attention, then consider yourself a good writer.
| Sasha Distan chapter 1 . 5/11/2004
Bit too religious for me tastes but then again I suppose that's the idea. Thanks for the review by the way, check out StormWinds for me if you would.
I likr this one, it's nice, moral, and simple, nice story, but makes me think of scholl assembly's.
Thank Gods I got into college and don't have to bother anymore.
| TheLostElf chapter 1 . 4/24/2004
I like all of your work, and this story touched me. If only the rest of the world could realize what your trying to show in this.
| Sivart chapter 1 . 4/21/2004
That hurts man. I am glad I know that you were joking about how much it sucked. I guess you were just keepin' it real right. Laugh haha.
| Nuahs chapter 1 . 4/20/2004
holy crap i cant believed how much that sucked.
hey go review mine its about a red t-rex
| Neko Tatsutahime chapter 1 . 3/26/2004
This was a interesting story with a good moral, but maybe if you went into detail more and explained more things? It almost seemed as though you just summarized the story. It has potential definitely.
| ChristianGeekGuy chapter 1 . 3/25/2004
A good story. You have a clear moral here, but you don't force it on the reader.
I think you could eliminate the * breaks and the story would flow just fine. With something this short, the breaks are often a destraction to the reader more than an assistance.
You have a good idea of what you're going for, and you write it out well. Make sure to carefully go over punctuation (remember to separate people's speech from the rest of the sentence with a comma right before the endquote).
"barley giving me a chance" - barley is grain. Barely is what you're thinking of.
"I let out a sarcastic and arrogant. impudent slime and" - It would help to move this sentence to the start of the next paragraph, and put a comma after arrogant. The way you have it now is a bit confusing to read.
"haggard old wrench" - Did you mean wench? This generally refers to women though.
"thought of were I was going" - should be 'where I was going'
Anyway, good story. It just needs to be polished a bit. Hope my critique was helpful :-).
| Whitegravity chapter 1 . 3/13/2004
This is a really touching story. I enjoyed seeing both sides of the picture. I hope to see more of the same from you...God bless.
| Sheila Ibre chapter 1 . 2/24/2004
Inspiring. That's all I can say.
| ssj4goku177 chapter 1 . 2/16/2004
this is really good...
the only thing i really have to say is that u should venture with more descriptive words...
i realized that when i started writing, that was what i lacked (and some grammar issues)
it makes the story all the more dramatic and exciting...
read my poems when u get a chance, they are a riot in my school