Reviews for Tenebrae
magnusthewolf chapter 1 . 10/10/2006
nicely writeen. great job. i liked it a bunch ;) keep writing
Little Miss Shadow chapter 1 . 12/28/2004
I particularly like the line: "forgotten tongues, forbidden names and unforgiven sins", very vivid. The entire thing is done very vividly with a strong delivery and a rather mystic air. There is only one line that doesn't quite flow with the rest in the entire thing: "The spirtis halt; the dead retreat; they fear his hardened heart/ like ripples on a basalt sea the shadows depart". Perhaps "do depart" or something of that nature would help it flow better, or it coud just be difference in taste. All in all - GREAT work. I love it. :)
A Beautiful Nightmare chapter 1 . 5/8/2004
Beautiful... I like how dark this poetry is... well done...
Morgan May chapter 1 . 4/29/2004
Powerful...nice flow definately brought Sabriel to mind like Blissfully said...nice piece ill have to read more of your work
Blissfully Unaware having problems logging in chapter 1 . 4/24/2004
I like this a lot! The story that leads up to this could be very interesting...sort of reminds me of Sabriel, the 1st book in a quartet you might want to read...they're very Garth Nix...check em out!
So, all-in-all, very good poem!
Alba Deborah chapter 1 . 4/13/2004
um, yes, me again. i thought this was really good, and i couldnt resist to some constructive criticism. again, writing and spelling are perfect, blah blah blah. three points: 1) id say that the lines are too long. personnally, i find it just more pleasant to read when theyre shorter, but thats just a matter of taste.
2) rhythm? gets irregular from time to time, but ok, its literature, theres no need for military regularity
3) id divide the poem into stanzas, according to their themes. for instance, id have separated 'this power he controls' from 'the spirits fly' but never mind.
dont take me seriously, im really a big fan of yours who takes herself too seriously. i dont have the ambition of writing better than you, and i just wish to share my little wisdom :D
NeverFroze chapter 1 . 4/5/2004
I love Necromancers... XD
The rhyming is good, not forced. And the descriptions are cool.
...What is the 'Name' though?
...Maybe I should go read that story...
aPoKaLyPs-rEdOnE chapter 1 . 2/6/2004
Nice, I very much appreciated the detail in the necromancer's actions. Like the other reviews say, it has great rythm and rhyme. Read mine, you will find it to be very similar to yours, if you like yours, I think you will like mine. ]
And Emo is Cliche chapter 1 . 1/27/2004
This was really great! I could never have thought of somthing like this.. great job!
Espers chapter 1 . 1/19/2004
You're quite a poet! I like your diverse vocabulary in here, and you've got a good rhythm for the most part. I can really feel this character and his emotions. Very nice.
dfgsfdghftgt44 chapter 1 . 1/18/2004
hey, this is awesome. I've never read the story this goes with and for now I really don't have the time, but I think this is great! Very dark and morbid and just plain cool.
~Cirien Phoenix
The B.A.T chapter 1 . 1/6/2004
It feels sort of strange reviewing the same thing twice, lol. But as I said before, it seems rather appropriate, cleverly so, for the style of your stories, like an old foreword or oath. Well, it's about time I started reading again. It's been hard getting back into that. The good news is I've got a lot to read. The bad news is... I've got a lot to read. _U Thanks so much for the card you sent me over the break, lol! Really brightened my day. Well, I'm getting ready to continue my reading frenzy!
-Yusef "The B.A.T." Pittman
Loki Mischeif-Maker chapter 1 . 1/6/2004
I can appreciate good poetry when I read it. I love what you've done with the peom- the chilling them, the steady rhythm, the rhyme sceme. It's a baeutiful poem.
frugale chapter 1 . 1/6/2004
"He weaves a pattern in the air and then he speaks the Name." You were right to submit this poem to me. It was ghastly delightful. Awesome rythm, rhymes that flow in naturally- and the pagan theme.
"The summoner embraces them and lets the tale unfold." I'm not a pagan but I know about it, and such poetry is rare on FPress (although you might have found lots, since it interests you). Tenebrae must be so beautiful, said out loud, with an oily female voice ...
At any rate, that was an amazing piece.
zagato chapter 1 . 1/5/2004
Amazing, amazing! I love this poem. It rhymes and has rhythm. I read it aloud the first time - such beautiful words. This poem made me remember the Iliad play we had in high school. Lyrical and deep. I could totally relate with Tenebrae because I have played Pagan Ultima 8 many times. I like the Necromancer's quest a lot. It was fun to get all those spells, to go to the Zealan Shrine, and to meet the Mountain King. Amazing game. I still laugh at my funny costume. Please write more.
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