Reviews for Mermaids
Ashlee Pond chapter 1 . 4/11/2011
This is so incredibly sad. The ending, especially, resonates beautifully.

You've managed to tell a wonderful story in very few words and not sacrifice the emotion or description.

Bravo.
negligible fictional force chapter 1 . 8/31/2004
this is so beautiful.
i am in awe.
amazing imagery,
beautiful words
and points of view.
this will be a favourites
of mine.
-kismet.
Morbane chapter 1 . 6/17/2004
It took me several re-readings to understand the story of this piece, but the time wasn't exactly begrudged. 'Mermaid' has wonderful pacing and wonderful colour. I winced at stanza four, however beautiful your imagery was there, for the man's death. (I think I'm interpreting this correctly...?) Somehow the lines 'oh mother/ I lost him' distance me - are we supposed to feel alienated from this being who can't comprehend humanity's rhythms?
'into the bewildered loneliness
of her cornflower ocean
bubbles kiss her mouth goodbye,
they rise to greet the sun'
...m. Gorgeous.
WrittenInJello chapter 1 . 5/7/2004
Excellent depiction of a creature not of this world.
zelle chapter 1 . 4/18/2004
I didn't review this? *incredulous*
sorry, only got five minutes or so, but-eeg!
:)
Sammy- B chapter 1 . 3/17/2004
I really like how you ended this one. You are truly an amazing writer, so different from everyone else.
HideAwayFairy chapter 1 . 2/23/2004
Wow this is beautiful. I love this poem, I'm not really sure if I get it, but the wording and everything is very good.
Silence-endlessecho chapter 1 . 2/20/2004
Beautiful imagery! I loved this moving peice. Going to take some read throughs. They will certainly be enjoyable. :)
daphnegray78 chapter 1 . 2/2/2004
Wow...a riveting and wonderfully described piece! Wonderful job! :o)
Fabian Cortez chapter 1 . 2/2/2004
The emotions you put into you work; it's simply beautifully rendered.
You have without doubt, a natural gift; look to publish.
Keep Writing!
F.C
Sycho Skitz chapter 1 . 1/26/2004
wow...this has so much depth that i'm not sure i can grasp the whole meaning. very powerful and full of vivid images. i especially like how the ocean 'speaks'. absolutely beautiful...
-Skitz
AngelLLY1 chapter 1 . 1/23/2004
I like it. I dont neccesarily "get" it but that okay. I like poems that i dont get.
mezzie chapter 1 . 1/19/2004
so many lines in this speak with depth (lol we are talking at least in part about the ocean, after all) no but really, there is a nice resonance in the verses. i am still deciding whether or not i like its relative sparseness; the story is there, and it is beautiful and sad and intriguing, but i still feel as though you've only touched the very edge of things, as though there is so much more beyond the thoughts that made it to the page.
now, that's not necessarily a bad thing, because it can work to your advantage, which may be why this has sort of a lingering, still-attached feel to it. i quite enjoy the changing of voice (if that's the right way to say what i mean) but anyway they are nice, they give another perspective and that means more depth. i love the idea of the sea fulfilling so many roles, it has that all encompassing element (...around her and in her/ her breath, her mother,/somehow, her child)
and also "oh mother,/I lost him" very poignant.
i've looked at similar themes a couple of times in "time's mermaid" and "in the well", no wonder i find this piece of yours so interesting, with its ocean, water, time, and mermaid things.
awesome work ;)
mezzie
Lellida chapter 1 . 1/16/2004
wow... beautiful... I'm still trying to figure out what happened event wise in the poem. Did she kill someone accidently by taking him underwater? Did she dry up while waiting? Anyway, the language here is great; "Bubbles kiss her mouth goodbye." and "Eternity rises to meet her" both very powerful lines. Can't think of anything else to say- in too much awe.
sunstormed chapter 1 . 12/23/2003
that was beautiful...even though im not sure if i totally grasped the full meaning, i love it very much!