|Reviews for In Vain|
| bread-thief chapter 2 . 3/29/2005
words can't describe. its practiaclly flawless (i don't believe anything is perfect but this comes close). i love the last line the best, i've always strived to write something with that same imadry but never been able to. you have given me something to reach for *grins*. keep writing!
| Galadh Niniel chapter 1 . 2/16/2005
This is absolutely awesome, so beautiful, I don't know what to say. especially the final couplet sums it up so well. Great job.
| Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 11/28/2004
I thought I’d found true love in Thy shy smiles,Dreamed sweet heart’s illusions of warm kisses,Fondly glanced from my pink moods to Thy blues,Thus my eyes flirted, skittish, at Thy looks.
Mind’s delusion’s weaves so many trances,Roses clustered near our unfulfilled hopes,Thoughts that we’d leave home, somehow we’d elope,—Happy anticipations and longings.
But when finally I went to kiss Thee,—
Much disgusted disconcerted chagrin,¡Thy breath,—stinking halitosis odor!¡Thy teeth,— all seemed to have come from the morgue!¡Thy clothes,—perhaps dribbles when Thou nibbled!
Now I feel like a dope that’s smoked cheap dope.
| AmbiguityLotus chapter 1 . 5/25/2004
kinda reminds me of some dark poetry.. but i like your use of words here.. :) especially the last 2 lines of this poem.. :) you've captured the metaphor of this kind of love well! :)
| Lady B.V Rose chapter 2 . 4/25/2004
*dies* work too good...cannot compute...*dies again* x_X
L:BVR x (yes that was a compliment)
| Mime chapter 2 . 4/23/2004
Beautiful extra stanza you've added. How you manage to make everything work out so perfectly amazes me.
| not sure yet chapter 2 . 4/22/2004
o, thats very pretty, love the flow and the way the words sound together, very trippy, i like that a lot, strong ending too, muchly well written and enjoyed, excellent job
| Miz E. Mak chapter 2 . 4/22/2004
As I said the first time... wow. Love it.
As I say now: AWESOME! Gotta love it.
You rock. And I tip my hat to you, oh fellow sonnet writer. May this poetry form continue to be used by us and be shown throughout the world as a still valid (and beautiful) way to express oneself.
| CoolBeans18s chapter 2 . 4/21/2004
You have perfected perfection! Is that even possible!
| CoolBeans18s chapter 1 . 4/21/2004
I loved this! Sonnets are my downfall - I couldn't write one if my life depended on it. But yours! This is truly beautiful, and so full of passion - again, I love it!
| glitterjewele chapter 2 . 4/17/2004
*jaw drops* wow, and i thought this was impressive to begin with . . . the last four lines are just out of this world, seriously. "trapped in a land where only lies are true," "perhaps you'll notice all the tears i've bled" so incredibly haunting and moving. mucho kudos chica! great edit. :)
| The Black Rider chapter 2 . 4/17/2004
Wonderful new stanza. So grandiose and cathartic. I loved it.
| Schubiegirl chapter 2 . 4/16/2004
I have a question or two, what is Venetian and wisteria? This is an amazing poem. I've read many with the same idea, but never worded this well. Bravo. The only thing i would do is change the bled to shed. You don't have to take my word, because i know you are a much better writer than me. Good work!
| Miz E. Mak chapter 1 . 2/3/2004
I loved this... sonnetts are so beautiful. They are... amazing. This one rocked my socks completely. You never cease to amaze me.
| Cirien Phoenix chapter 1 . 1/11/2004
I figured since you recommended to me to write a sonnet I may as well look at one of your's.I'm not entirely sure how to write a sonnet, but I will look into it when i get some free time. Also, I had no idea there were more types of haikus... Wow... I thought there was ONLY 5-7-5... Thanks for the enlightenment on that. By the way, this sounded absolutely lovely. I think it was a great thing that you wrote this!