Reviews for Vienna Temporary
Estelin chapter 3 . 11/11/2006
this story is good i can't wiat for more. keep up the good work
girlinthemist chapter 2 . 12/31/2003
i have to tell you that you are a excellent write i wish i had your talent. i liked your story very much and i can't wait to read more.
E. Leigh chapter 1 . 12/31/2003
Very good story/plotness I hope to read more! ;) keep it up and keep writting! lol, best of luck!
Erin
Kumi Sataki chapter 1 . 12/29/2003
It is quite interesting. Written well and descriptively. I have only three comments.
The part where you say, "...keep from flying down the ramp. Sure enough, her father..." is rather weak. Perhaps you could add another sentence in between that explains the "sure enough".
Also, a little problem of accuracy. Stallions are quite temperamental and would not come running at a whistle, not without exceptional training and more-than-average intelligence. Also, they tend to be taller, and could not be mounted with a mere swing into the saddle. The timing there is a little unrealistic, also.
The phrase "fell upon deaf ears" would generally not be used in this case, because it is usually used in a negative context. However, it doesn't seem to bother her at all that her father is ignoring her. I'm not saying that it is wrong, it is just rather awkward.
I may have criticised too much, have I? I mean it not personally. I cannot wait until you write the next chapter.