|Reviews for Power Beasts|
| FurballofEvilness chapter 2 . 3/27/2005
I only suggest one thing: Split paragraphs up with double spaces so it makes the chapter easier to read.
Besides that, this chapter was good. Aero is a interesting character, and I look forward to reading more about her.
*gives eight cookies* () sorry for these awful reviews.
Onto the next chappie!
| FurballofEvilness chapter 1 . 3/6/2005
Remember, please, that Aero's ankle was damaged earlier. I don't think she could 'jump effortlessly' onto a giant wolf's back.
Okay, that's the only part that catches my attention.
Very intriguing. I am interested on what happens next very much much. *hugs* You've done a great job. I love the wolf! WOLVIES! *great happiness* You are the awesomeness. I shall go and read the next chapter. *gives eight cookies*
| Gummi-Arms chapter 4 . 11/21/2004
M... not bad... not bad at all. That story's got promise. Sorry it took me so long to respond, but apparently the latest batch of updates has fixed my problem. If I may make one suggestion, you should add more descriptive text. Especially for the characters. Any character that you name, and that the point of view character has seen, should be described. I know, your first argument is probably that it would slow the pace, but if you go about it in the right way, it really won't. One trick that might work is to have the description associated with some kind of action. For example, "Lusia walked forward, brushing back strands of purple hair that had fallen in front of her eyes." Oh, and setting the mood in a place is important. I liked your description of the rock formation, but I noticed that you mainly described it visually. I think it would be even better if you were to add other senses to the description. You could write about how the wind blows sorrowfully through the jagged stones, or in the interior scene how drips of water could be heard echoing among the stones. But remember to temper the description to reinforce the atmosphere you're going for. Iff you want a place to be creepy, you could add something about oppresive silence, or a chill in the air. Anyways, those are just suggestions, don't take them the wrong way, I'm just trying to help out. Keep at it, and don't get discouraged. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your story. -Gummi-Arms [*_*]
| Myrddin's Apprentice chapter 4 . 7/29/2004
hi, i used to be Glissa Sunseeker - thought you should know -
this is a good story so far. your use of descriptions and backstory is well done, and the style of writing is great. it's a fun plotline so far, and i look forward to reading the rest!
| Storysmith chapter 4 . 5/17/2004
This was good. You worked the mythology in well. And her past. Its very interesting. No typos that I could see. Well, keep itup! I can't wait to read more!
Gata de la Noche
| Megana chapter 4 . 5/9/2004
Cool chapter! I love the whole legend bit. It adds history to the story, which is very good to include. I can't wait for more, and to find out more about Aero's past. Keep up the good work!
| Storysmith chapter 3 . 5/3/2004
This is very good. It seems to have a good plot, interesting characters, and only a few little typos. I would love to read more. BTW, the Left Behind story sounds pretty interesting too. I've never really thought about that. Well, good luck, and Keep it up!
Gata de la Noche
| Gemema chapter 3 . 2/25/2004
Short chapters, but who am I to complain? Most of the stuff I write is short. So far, this story is very good. So much is going on, and I really want to find out more! That dream was definately interesting, and I can't wait to find out it's significance. The story idea on your profile page sounds good too. Writing about what happens after a battle, to the people and places, would definately make an interesting story. I hope you write it. Anyway, excellent job so far, and I hope you write more soon!
| Wrider chapter 3 . 1/31/2004
Excitement! Please update this soon! Ahem, anyway, another lovely chapter...very melancholy in the beginning...I wonder why she dreams that? Supposed I can wait to find out - so update soon! (did I already say that...?)
| Magejip Hunstler chapter 3 . 1/18/2004
I liked the descriptions of the man and woman and the beginning of the chapter that was really great.
Can't think of much to say other than make your chapters longer! it seems like i just get stuck into it and then it ends!
| Magejip Hunstler chapter 2 . 1/15/2004
This was great!
But it would be nce to have some more insight into the characters personalities, in the first chapter you knda got an idea, but in this one it's mostly description.
But i loved the description of ShadowPeak. That was really good. Very vivd descriptions.
Amaroh also sounds very interesting i would love to know more information about him.
Anyway, this all sounds very mysterious and i hope i hear more soon!
| A Girl in Denial chapter 2 . 1/3/2004
Good. Keep going.
| Wrider chapter 2 . 1/1/2004
OOh...the description of "Shadow Peak" was nice, very nice. Will there be more insight to the relationship between Aero and Amaroh in later chapters? I'm interested in where he came from, how they fit into the world, that sort of thing.
What will they do with the Power Beasts when they hatch? Oh, update soon so I can find out!
| Wrider chapter 1 . 1/1/2004
An interesting start. I like it. Although, two little things: it seemed a bit rushed in the first few paragraphs and also, when two people are conversing, each time one talks it should be a new paragraph. Those were the only things I saw...otherwise, it's a great start! The "wolfish creature that was the size of a horse" very much draws my attention. I love wolves, even have one in my own story!
| A Girl in Denial chapter 1 . 12/31/2003
Excellent. Short, but excellent.