|Reviews for Dreaming of Eden|
| Until Utah chapter 1 . 3/27/2005
This is a wonderful story. I especially liked the 'searching' undercurrent that permeates the story.
Also, I love the imagery.
I'm sure that I've had a similar dream... If only I could remember it.
| Janelle MaCracken chapter 1 . 4/9/2004
I like the way the poem melts into the story. It makes it a very interesting read and keeps the dream-like quality I am assuming you were going for.
-Enter. Stage right.
Is a very clever line, wonderfully placed.
I also enjoyed the questions. Every few lines you'd throw one in.
Well done, I can't think of one thing to change. Maybe a couple of commas here and there, but nothing more.
| girlwithwings chapter 1 . 3/31/2004
The pseudo-poem definitely fits for this story here. Also, I like the way it flows...like a poem, like a dream. I hope to see more stories like this from you.
| desolus chapter 1 . 1/4/2004
Your descriptions of the dream-places are poetic, but then, I won't need to tell you this. Aware of it as you are. - I couldn't help but feel a calmness wash over me as I read, feeling the wheels in my head turn to supply the haziness of dreaming. It was beautifully written, not excessive but composed, lyrical, though the meaning behind the story confused me. But then, dreams aren't supposed to make sense.
Excellent! *cues Wayne and Garth*
| Werecat99 chapter 1 . 1/3/2004
This was beautiful. It did feel like a dream, a dream one does not want to awake from. Beautiful, original and you should not change it to a poem. It already IS a poem, for poetry is about feeling and not formatting.
Good work. I absolutely adored this.
Thanks for the review.
| Kezkay chapter 1 . 1/2/2004
Never, ever, change this to a poem. What you have is perfect in its simplicity! To FORMAT it in a way to make it more PLEASING would just...ruin it.
I chuckled at the beginning, in a good way, about the play and the audience. There was certainly a feel of dreamish haze in the air, how all of your descriptions were soft and maleable (ex, velvet, poufs, shadow, soft relief).
I escpecially liked the change of a scene, for lack of a better word, with the very short words or phrases inbetween. The sudden changes were very dream-like, the inconsistency perfect, almost making me go into a quiet doze and daydream...(but I resisted so that you would have this review!).
I just LOVE the first paragraph of the desert sequence... You had the shifting sands, the soft moonlight, the colors (silver, purple) and the kind of just FEELING of forever empty space that always accompanies the landscape.
Also, this poem that intertwines with the dream itself is so -majestic- and perfect, and rather than taking away from the prose, instead adds to the liquidity (o, new word) of the dream-like state. Wow, that sentence made me seem smart to myself. The part about the vines, grass and temple was slightly confusing, however, this is about the reminiscence of a dream, so I'm not gonna talk more about it.
MM'mm, I like the use of Eden...the connotations that follow the word are like the extra chocolate flavor that flows in my mocha... Who is this "he" you're refering to? The guy who asks the questions? Is he the one from the beginning scene?
The dream left me with a slight melancholy tinge to my less-than-perfect evening, and as I sit at my dark computer desk... I am now hungry. Ugh, it's kind of useless to ask the "why" of dreams, so I won't question your ending. Just write more of these.
| Incubabe chapter 1 . 1/2/2004
M... I know I reviewed this on devart but it looked so lonely on fp... so here is another review for you!
I still love it... it's still beautifully moving... M *contented sigh*
Thanks for the review btw. I knew you loved me... think I love you too! Tee hee! :p
| Mikael Angelique chapter 1 . 1/2/2004
Very lovely imagery. It does sound like a poem, but it is just fine as it is, I think. Good work!