|Reviews for Chocolate Smoke, wish i were dreaming|
| itsnotmycastle chapter 1 . 3/23/2006
That was just beautiful. I could see every image in my head.
| James Rain chapter 1 . 1/28/2004
Wow, did you cook this thing up in your head. You don't find stories like this often. It doesn't serve to the entertainment of the masses, but rather, the author. I definitely got the sense that this story was written without an audience in mind. Have a guessed correctly?
I really liked some of the descriptions, especially the he smells of music part and the very end: "we dump every ounce of pain everywhere, splatter it all over the walls and our faces, ourselves, smear it into our hair. And it hurts so much more now that we can both see it. So we tell each other everything." It is very poetic and interesting.
There are some format problems, like so: "somethingÕs changed," the apostrophe's seem to be missing, replaced by that odd, "Nya" O. Also, proofread one more time, for there are some awkward sentences in the beginning.
I really liked the story though. It was very unexpected. Very good overall. I'm putting this on my favorites.
| flying blind chapter 1 . 1/10/2004
you use discription really well, i really like this. the ending is beautiful! )
Very well done
| Just Wolf chapter 1 . 1/4/2004
i really liked the ending. it was a beautiful way to finish. i liked the descriptions of your friend, "huge brown, eyes, lashes, tears." that's perfect, it describes so much of someone with just a few words. the whole story was lovely, anyway.