Reviews for Crimson Battlefield
Darian Porter chapter 1 . 9/19/2004
"musical ringing of screams in the dusk, screams of agony, screams of triumph, screams from the battlefield, and of bodies laying, sitting, moaning, twitching, covering the blood spots, and at the same time, deepening their impact." This is it, this is the line that legends are made of. "deepening their impact" This line has more than one meaning to it, not only do the bodies push and grind the blood into the dirt, but also the agony of the bodies metaphorically deepens the "impact", the meaning, the significance of the blood. Truly a heart arousing line. And the part about the screams, it evokes such a majestic feeling. "screams of agony... screams from the battlefield". You can feel the power and impact of war through this piece, you did an amazing job. I am a guy, so naturally after reading this piece I want to go to war or something, it is these powerful feelings that your writing so wonderfully expresses that I think arouses mens, and some womens, interest in war. However, I will overtake this feeling, because I'm not in favour of killing, and rent a video game or something. Your writing seriously got me motivated to do something. Thank you, great work. One of my favourites.
creation puddle chapter 1 . 2/4/2004
i LOVE the detailed descriptions and your use of adjectives!the only suggestion i have-take out the phrase "the disarrangement of it...found in every aspect of life."-it is shown in the last sentence, and if you want to still incorporate the ways in which the battlescene shows true untamed beauty, i'm sure you can incorporate basically the same sentence by showing, not telling-i saw it in the rest!wonderful piece-can you check some of mine out-i would be honored to have some of your advice, b/c i'm sure it will be good!