Reviews for Silver Lining
KerouacandGin chapter 15 . 4/28/2004
Oh Emma that is so sad! I think I'm going to cry. I stayed up for the past two hours reading all of it. They feel so real, and its just so sad. It was written AMAZINGLY, though Emma! Seriously, I am so jealous! And I agree with..someone..who said that she wouldnt be surprised to see this on bookshelves someday. I think it could very easily become published. Awesome work Emma, really.
Perilous Escapist chapter 11 . 3/27/2004
Okay, I think that this story is very good so far. A couple of things you need to work on though:
-Please try to make your chapters a little longer...at least the length of two put together. Such short chapters makes it seem kind of choppy.
-Everything seems to be happening a little fast. Maybe go back and add a few little events of some kind to slow the pace a little bit.
Things I like about Silver Lining:
-Grammar and spelling are excellent; I saw only about three mistakes.
-The story's plot is very creative and captivating. I'm totally hooked!
-Sarah (or Yun Li) is a very real character that people can relate to.
You seem to be extremely good at writing, from what I've read. I wouldn't be surprised if I saw Silver Lining in a bookstore one day! Please keep writing!
Fuinixe chapter 24 . 3/26/2004
M...angst. Yay for fast updates! And thank you for the e-mail, my lovely.
Sabbrielle
catalysis chapter 2 . 3/25/2004
When I read this all I could say was "damn...that was awesome."
Fuinixe chapter 21 . 3/25/2004
I really like this story. I have a lot to say and I have to go soon, so I probably will end up coming back when I get home from school.
I've had you on author alert for FOREVER, and I'm usually too busy to go look at all your new poems and chapters, so I just open them up, read the summary, close them, and let them shift into the "Old" e-mail pile. But I was *constantly* getting alerts about this Silver Lining story, so I decided to check it out, so I wouldn't have you on author alert for nothing.
The beginning was difficult to predict, for me. I was CERTAIN that the father was going to die. And then he didn't, so yay, I guess.
I love Jack. I'm wondering what's going on with him, why he can't love himself. Are you going to expand upon that any more? Please do! I'm very curious what's going on inside his head.
I was waiting for *so* *long* for the romance to start. It felt like forever, but finally it really started in this chapter. You took your time getting it to start, but one thing seemed wrong with it once it did start: the whole Sarah deciding not to leave was very rushed. I think that it would be better if you modified it to take its time just a bit longer...not necessarily waiting chapters to get it resolved, but some more paragraphs. Because Sarah was really hurt.
One last thing: I know it's too late for this, but towards the beginning especially I was noticing spelling or grammar mistakes...few and far between, but they were still there, and a little distracting. Your beta reader, if you have one, is doing a beautiful job, but for your next story, you can ask me to read it over, because I pick up tiny mistakes like that very quickly.
So yes, there're my opinions. I hope they helped!
Love ya and keep writing,
Sabbrielle
Cheya chapter 18 . 3/24/2004
Please write more!
FAKEromances chapter 18 . 3/19/2004
eek, i'm kind of tired right now, so i'm just going to tell you: i really enjoyed reading that :)
FAKEromances chapter 17 . 3/16/2004
oh. i REALLY liked this chapter, the quality was even BETTER than usual, and it was gripping and wonderful. but poor sarah...i love the last few paragraphs. so well-done! :)
CW-nerd-12 chapter 3 . 3/2/2004
You have a great start going! IF i'd suggest anything, I'd say that the diction you use is too stiff and proper. Even if sarah is supposed to be very smart and articulate, you need to loosen up her language a bit, so it seems more natural. Also, I thought the prologue was kind of redundant. but that's just me. Good, work anyway!
FAKEromances chapter 15 . 2/26/2004
that was really good...aww, poor sarah! though annabelle seems a little nicer now...
FAKEromances chapter 14 . 2/24/2004
hehe...shopping is always good :)
jack seems nice...but i can't really tell...more?
avalonravyn chapter 13 . 2/23/2004
Love this story. Maybe because there's a Chinese girl in it. Muahaha.
FAKEromances chapter 13 . 2/19/2004
i love how he kissed her forehead...it was a great touch :)
FAKEromances chapter 12 . 2/18/2004
aww...her dream was SO SAD! i luv this story SOO MUCH... hehe i wants to know wat happens! :)
FAKEromances chapter 11 . 2/18/2004
YAY! jack to the rescue! hehe...
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