|Reviews for Disillusionment|
| behind the velvet curtain chapter 1 . 1/20/2004
I know, I know, never review your own work. But I just wanted to explain something. I use a lot of "..." and "!" and such. I do that because it's supposed to be really frantic at parts and at other parts she just doesn't understand.
Also, I'm not sure how this comes across as fantasy, but it's not. Not at all. It's realistic fiction, and it's basically the nightmare I have during the day.
Just wanted to make that clear...
| Crelian2202 chapter 1 . 1/19/2004
I dont criticize what the piece is about because frankly i'm realy only into fantasy/science fiction. But on a grammar standpoint try to not use ... all the time, just use a comma it looks so much better. Also delete the overusage of puncuation '!' and stuff like that. Good other wise.
| Torn-andBeaten chapter 1 . 1/13/2004
Tori..this is beyong amazing...wow...
| ArcherInTheShadows chapter 1 . 1/11/2004
Tori you're really incredible. Just... keep it up. And take care.
| xoxkissxofxdeathxox chapter 1 . 1/11/2004
the story is beautiful. your imagery is as real as ever. i love you tOe. your the most amzing friend ever...
*take the dead cold clammy hand, you see upon the frozen bloody ground. look up away from the ashes, away from the shattered world below. lok up to the warmth reach out and float upon dreams that become real and cradle you in love. let the mangled corpse rise with you, teach it of light. you are the Celestial Lady, Bringer of Light, the Divine and Supreme Angel. create strong bonds and let the world love you. soar on high. you are magical. escape for awhile, and forget we are all knee deep in sorrow. you are Hope, and know that you are loved and cherished. we shall forever support one another. i will always be by your side. you are my eternal friend, my more-than-sister.*
| me chapter 1 . 1/10/2004
life without a best friend is something nobady should have to go through. losing a best friend is even worse. thinking about it makes me want to see that the friends i have are safe. i dont plan on losing any. especially ones important as i know now.