Reviews for to dance
Juliet Squared chapter 1 . 3/15/2004
This is what, the third poem I am adding to my faves list? Crazy stuff...I just adore your use of imagery and word choice. It's absolutely beautiful.
Pomeranian-Poufy chapter 1 . 3/8/2004
Really beautiful.
It has the beauty and grace of a fairy tale but in eloquent poetry of life.
AntiPleasure chapter 1 . 2/22/2004
Full, vibrant imagery. That's all I can say. Beautifully done.
Jenna xx
randomfanwriter chapter 1 . 2/5/2004
This is just fantastic. I can't believe that I have never read any of your work. This is just wonderful. I love it. It's what every poetry should be like...That was just great! I love it! Love it love it love it! Come and read some of my work to! Thanks!
J
aleppine chapter 1 . 1/27/2004
Hello ... I meant to come by ages earlier. It's been hectic, hectic, hectic.
Before I read on, the title. Yum.
...
...
Wow.
Oh, wow.
S.s.s.h.h.h. I'm going to read again.
...
o_o
I'm going to be late to uni.
...
Okay. I can't resist selecting a few favourite lines. I'll try to do this without quoting entire stanzas, shall I?
The first line - quite simple compared to later, but it really kicked off the entire poem. Such a poem is sometimes difficult to start in a way that will befit the rest of the poem. Well done.
'how it leads you but isn't quite destined' - YES! YES! O_O That was brilliant, possibly the brilliantest of all. It gives the forest so much soul and elusiveness. The remainder of that stanza continued this personification of forest as a wily twisty nymphy thing wonderfully.
'whilest your hand in the small of my back
presses like a petal fresh fallen to grace the ground'
- delicious. Reading that brought an alarmaingly sensory memory of such a feeling to the small of my back. The petal falling - that grace is so distinctive, and perfect for this. Whilest whilst?
'immortal dance soulsung by these mortals' - wonderful. Soulsung is beautiful, because I love compund words. Yay compound words! Yay! Yay! And the divisions of mortals and immortals, but the point at which they meet through the song.
'moonlight caught by the breeze
and lifted away to soft streaming among the trees'
- soft streaming is a perfect choice fo words. Perfect, perfect. So gentle and silky and flowing and swift while-still-gentle ... delicious.
Again, the rest oft aht stanza continued what you'd started with that sentence beautifully. 'swill the hem of my dress' - 0_0 [it's the 'swill' that did it] - 'tital tendrils' - 'the ancient resonance inherant in anything this returned' - I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!
'echo the known stretch of wrist' etc. Particularly that line, though. This poem strikes such a personal chord with me.
'bloodtide' - yum.
The 'immortal dance of mortals' was a great echoing again of where mortality and immortality spiritually meet ... or something ... (sorry, i just woke up) ...
'to move in memory and seek the steps
to the oldest song of all.'
What a way to end. Alliteration rarely ever really moves me, but here it did, even though it was very subtle.
This is great work, dudette. I'd say something like 'MORE! MORE!', but you have lots of other things here that I haven't reviewed yet, so I can't say that. *Damn* This time the fault is mine. I will be back. A couple of lectures and such, and I will be back. And then you'll have trouble getting rid of me.
*cackles manially*
Excellent work. I'm glad I finally came. And what a start to the day - all inspired and glowy. Yum. Thank you.
All Midnight Eyes chapter 1 . 1/16/2004
Wow, this is so beautiful. I can't believe I came upon you in the Just In section. Why have I not read your things before?
"to dance an old song under stars"...that was lovely. You seem to deliberately try to not be cliche. Very effective.
"soulsung by these mortals". Wow. Soulsung. The idea isn't original, but putting the two words together is.
"to move in memory and seek the steps/to the oldest song of all". Gorgeous. Trying to find the steps to something. So many lovely analogies. I simply love this. You're going on my favorites list.
*Clarie*