|Reviews for Indomitable Fire|
| J-fReAK chapter 2 . 1/27/2004
Goodie goodie, except possibly more paragraphs would be helpful (for the reader). I also noticed one type error in the 3rd paragraph, 7th line,"They caught up quickly and tore the child from she arms." Should be "her" arms. But this chapter really brings out some suspense in wondering what her little plan is to escape.
| MadMaverick chapter 1 . 1/23/2004
I liked it. Hope you keep writing. Sickenly enough, this reminds me of the real world.. yes, even in America. No Equal Rights bill yet! Hey, now that Tarrice is gone, is there anything that prevents Avenna from doing a little petty theivery? Good luck to Avenna no matter what she does!
| J-fReAK chapter 1 . 1/19/2004
Good intro. It paints a vivid picture in my mind. I do believe that you have a type-O, 3rd paragraph from the bottom, you have "bout" when I think it should be "bought." But it's a good introduction as to the reader can already see the problems that Avenna faces and will come to face. Keep it going-I'll be interested to read more.