|Reviews for Tomb of the Worlds|
| Fate chapter 4 . 3/11/2005
Hmm. I like the setting very much. I like the academy and the tradition that seems so solid. It's early days for the characters and plot, so I'm not going to jump to any conclusions about them.
I shall continue in the other version, unless you start up on this rewrite again.
I'm not being paid any more, so I'll come back later. Good stuff.
| FateThirteen chapter 3 . 3/11/2005
Hello hello... Seeing as you won't send me a script *huffpuff* I have been reduced to reading your fic in the office.
Come to think of it, that's not really an incentive for you to write. You get reviews if you leave me to read.
Anyway. Loved this chapter and its breathlessness, except for one itty bitty niggle. The phrase 'just barely'. I hate it. Stop using it. 'Barely' alone is fine. 'Just' alone is fine. 'Only just' or 'by the smallest margin' are fine. 'Just barely' is a horrible pair of words. Find some new ones.
On that note - next chapter, while I'm still getting paid!
| Never After chapter 4 . 8/4/2004
Well, you weren't kidding when you said you changed a TON of things! and it's only in the first few chapters! well, like with Quicksliver Medallion, i love it! post more! luv the story!
| Fate Thirteen chapter 2 . 7/30/2004
Shall review as I read. Feel special (but I am overly picky when I do this. But it's good for you).
Hee, snow. I like snow. 'fur lining' - this confused me, because I thought the entire fur lining was shivering until I read it again. Maybe... the fur which lined her hood would be less confusing. But! bone-pickery. Will refrain.
Mah. Hate brackets in stories. Personal prejudice, je sais, but I dislike. Commas would do the job just as well.
'foundling' - don't you just *love love love* that word?
Apologies for bone-pickery and things. And thankyous for reviewing Angelus. ! Next chapter!
| Fate Thirteen chapter 1 . 7/30/2004
Hello. I figure I read your xanga, I always read your profile, and so I should at least read your fiction and stop being a lazy bum. So, here I am.
Befuddled by this note, but generally skimming it...
On with the show *is excited/impatient with anticipation of great things...*
| Hermione268 chapter 4 . 7/27/2004
I'm happy you didn't give up writing this story after all. I was reading quicksilver medallion and really enjoying it when you said you didn't know what to do with it, so you weren't writing anymore... Good thing you changed your mind (and good thing I put you on author alert too :o))
I was expecting her to win the race, like she did on the other story, so it was a surprise when she lost. Though I'dd like her to win I understand that it makes it easier to explain why she decided to leave the academy without saying goodbye to anyone, missing the celebration, etc. (and maybe it's important to the plot, I don't know). I hope you update soon :o)
| TheTiramisuOfImpendingDoom chapter 4 . 5/18/2004
Signorina... a lovely story like Quicksilver Medallion. Both have catchy titles. Tomb of the Worlds... Awesome. :) I haven't talked to you for awhile, but I'm glad you're still playing with characters from QM. Please continue this soon. It's looking wonderful!
| zelle chapter 2 . 4/17/2004
But, can I nitpick? Can I please, please nitpick?
"“Sovay. Little Sovay…our foundling…our daughter.”"
The ellipticals bother me a bit here. Like, one's enough within one section. Two gets iffy.
(by the way, you have full license to hate me now)
otherwise: aw X 834298748324
| zelle chapter 1 . 4/17/2004
hee hee! This is me cheating and reading the nice and clean version before I go back to the older version and cry because, even in rough draft, you're so damn perfect!
And I just realized something. This morning.
WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU ON MY FAVE LIST?
*adds you so quickly it makes eyes bleed, apologizes profusely and worships at your feet*
| flea-bitten grey chapter 4 . 2/15/2004
i love Saphra's new name! it's very original, along with all the others in your story. and for that matter, the whole story is!
it was almost a little better having Rhysta lose the race...it's like she has more reason to leave besides her Givensister being kidnapped-it's more emotionally complex :).
and i'd love to know what the flightwings look like. they sound so awesome! heck, it'd be cool to know what the whole complex looked like...but especially the flightwings. lol.
lastly rofl...what's amchi-silk? i know it's a bit stupid, but the stuff sounds interesting.
great job on re-writing QM! love it :D.
| HarmonyIsarine chapter 4 . 1/31/2004
I've been dying to read this since I read the other chapters. _ Very awesome, but I'm still sad that she lost the race. ;_; nice touch, though, it stopped it from being cliche.
One thing I'm wondering is exactly what these wings look like. They have a wood five frame... what is that? There are many ways that that kind of frame might look. I understand the amachi silk, but is the harness like a harness worn when climbing? Or different? How do the wings attach?
These things aren't necessary, they just help images appear in a readers mind. And I'm a very picky person and want to know nearly exactly how they look. _
| HarmonyIsarine chapter 3 . 1/29/2004
Mwah-ha! Marvelous! A few errors in spelling/grammar crap, but this is good. _ How I have waited for this! And, if I wasn't so cold that I'm misspelling every word I type, I'd read the next one. But that'll be tomorrow's treat.
| Kezkay chapter 2 . 1/29/2004
o *shivers* I finally came back! You know, it sounds really weird when you read that lullaby outloud. Or it could just be the wad of gum in my mouth... Was the first version of this longer? I can't remember, and I'm too lazy to go back and read it. Hmm, this chappie sheds a much different light on our little Sovay...Did Zelle ever give her back to you anyhow? Or should I say, did Loki ever let you have her back? Mua ha ha. Umm...my favorite line was the last clause, I don't know why exactly, but I think it's because you ended up creating a sort of environment/setting, one that was perhaps lacking earlier on because of the disembodied voices and whatnot. Wow, can you have sentence with 2 because's? oh well. Anyhow, live free, eat chocolate. -Kez
| Kezkay chapter 1 . 1/24/2004
sque! sque! Sque! i have not the time nor the eyesight to read the prologue tonight, but have no fear, I shall! Dammit, I had just gotten used to everyone's names too. *grumbles* *steals your chocolate* ...Dorknavel.
-Super Saiyan Kezkayn
| BuffLie chapter 3 . 1/22/2004
Yay, the story is back :) And I'm the first reviewer? Nifty.
I like the changes. I'm still getting used to her new name... but it'll happen.
This is a beautiful story, and I can't wait to read more of it :D