Cool! Update soon!

wow! It gets better! I love this story. Keep posting!

o nice ending there, i knew you weren't one of those people who were afraid to say bad words and talk about sex in detail! yay you!
but yeha i know how amber feels. one of my good friends she go a boyfriend this last summer and never told me! i heard it form her mother who told mine can you believe that? and she's never been the same since. i mean come on just last year she was on my case about not liking guys but just wanting them to want to be frineds with her. and now she's...shiver...coupled.
i'm just not the stay with one person type really. yeah. but again the period in the middle of the sentences don't show very nicely and make it look a bit sloppy. and there are no more chapters and i'm mad!
yes very mad, but only because i love the story. yep love it! ew that sounded wrong. but whatever i think ou get the point now. and i almost thought she was going to go with that marshall thing and then spring it on them at the folks, ew bad idea teling parents. yep very bad, i don't htink i could ever do, not that i thing i'd have to.
KEEP WRITING SO I CAN KEEP READING!

aw isn't that sweet? so touching. and i think we;re getting a bit sloppy with the punctuation and sentence structures towards the end there. it took me a while to realize there were little dots there and i jsut couldn't see them. try using commas instead. but really don't maind that much. i like the story.
and i'm really starting to get into it now. and sisters are off limits? are brothers? do girls have this pact about brothers? i don't think so. and hat the heck is wrong with sisters? i mean not that any of my brothers friends would go out with me, he's only 7. but yeah i would go out with a friend if i had an older brother. but anyhow i can't wait to see what happens when they all find out about the sex under their noses things. o adn looky here! one more chapter and a few more minutes to spare!

o protective borther to the rescue, actually if i found my brother was having sex i don't know i'd mind as much as i'd be dissapointed in him. we're rather religious in my house about those things but hey i wouldn't really care as long as he realized the stupidity he putting himself into. but yeah you'd never get that whole religious thing out of me in anythig i've written, did that even make sense?
oh well great chapter wonder what marcus is going to do. nad wonder what nick is going to do, and wonder what nick and mary are ging to do. argh it's killing me i have to keep going!

okay if i get caught they'll kill me and ban me form the computer. but if i make is short they might not catch me.
great chapter! sorry about the last review it was awful. but yeah they should make each other suffer. mary with her body and nick with his, other stuff body included. but yeah make it last see how far they can go with out breaking loos and lettling every boy\dy know they've been having mad sex right under their noses...HA!
but yeah i like this story, a lot, and i'm picky about a lot of things when it comes to a story. i'm glad you didn't make it all fast paced like they just instantly liked eache\other and started taking it all it. not his is interesting cause their frineds and relatives are involved...heheheh!
and that is my review cause i want to read the rest before lunch.

i think you mean now hardened, not not hardened. i was abit taken aback when i read hta, how could they not be hard after what he was doing? but i realized it was but a simple typo, we all make them, then i sighed a sigh of relief. but i think my mom's coming eep!

your grammar and plot is superb! but yeah a coulpe commas were in order early on, that's it i think.
and this is fun isn't it? they're ging to TRY and keep on as normal...haha! this should be good! and what kind of perfectly styled hair does he have? is it dark long and curly? cause if it is i'm so jealous of that unappreciative woman. but yeah i wish i could sit and read this whole thing through but i have to get back to my school work, i was doing so good yesterday and today and i want to see if i can actually finish everything and have time to breath before bed time, sigh yes i have a bed time, sad no? nearly sixteen and i have to be in bed by eight thrity. it is sad. but anyways i love this story and i think it has potential. now let's see if i can remember to come back and read it later...

yes i do believe i would be thinking about him too if i knew that we'd probably gotten it on the night before, it's only human nature. oh and i forgot to mention the beauty of putting that extra line inbetween the paragraphs is that it makes the chapter seem longer, just nice for an author to think thay actually wrote five pages while a pile of the space is blank, my mom even puts two spaces at the begining of every sentence but that jsut drives me nuts.
but great chapter i loved it! and what kind of bar is it? just regular one where you go and drink yourself stupid? sounds interesting, never tried it though. and i wonder what nick needs to talk about...

a club eh? yeah i'm writing a story about a club, i had fourteen and fifteen years olds tell me it was too much for them but i can tell you're not afraid of a little sexual situations. and so when do we get to meet him?i think i wouldn't mind waking up with a guy if he was good enough. and a suggestion? put a blank line between your paragraphs. if it were printed and like in a book or soemthing it would be fine but on the computer it get blurry after a while of staring at the screen and the words sort of slur together. putting the blank line gives the eys a short break and so you can keep on reading without having to go back and reread cause your brain didn't get it all. but other than that i don't se any problems, not that that is a problem, just a courtesy.

o! that would be fun! i once heard of a story similar to this idea and i really wished i could read but then i found you so hopefull this will be good and i'll se what happens. in the other one i could only read the prolouge and they woke up and they were amrried and sh'ed lost her virignity... and oh my it sounded good. but i like your begining better.

Hey! Thanks for updating so fast. the story is awesome.

Great Story! I hope you update soon b/c I just love Mary and Nick!

Aw! It's so cute!

Yes! Even though secret relationships are fun I'm glad they are getting everything out in the open! Awesome job on updating! You are very fast!